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“Wait a minute.” Luke used his shirt sleeve to wipe the moisture off her cheeks. Then smiled at her with such tenderness, her eyes welled up again. “Okay, you’re good to go.”
Her chest felt impossibly tight as she carried on reading. “You’ll be hurting that I didn’t tell you about the cancer earlier.” Too right, bro, she thought to herself. “But I didn’t want your last memories of me to be as your patient. I wanted to remain your brother. You love easily, but with all your heart. And though you’ve been badly let down by men, that big heart remains unguarded, willing to risk the pain again because you want what our parents have. And you deserve it, Anna. Don’t settle for anything less than being loved by someone who is as brave, as fearless when it comes to loving, as you are.” Her heart crashed against her chest as she read the last sentence. “I just hope that best friend of mine comes to his senses and does right by you.”
Luke’s green eyes watched her steadily as he took the letter from her. “Your turn,” she whispered.
* * *
As he took the sheet of paper from her, Luke felt his insides turn over. He could be brave, like Colin said, Anna was worth putting himself through any amount of agony over. But it wasn’t his bravery that was the issue. The question, the huge question, was whether he deserved a woman as good, as absolutely incredible, as Anna?
“Luke,” he read out. He heard the tremor in his voice but couldn’t do a damn thing about it. “You’re fierce, but also fiercely loyal. Which is why I know you’re berating yourself for not being there for me from the beginning of my diagnosis. I know you would have been, but I was not going to make the friend I loved like a brother, go through all that twice in his lifetime.” Luke cursed. As if it would have mattered, if he’d known he was helping the man who’d done so much for him. “You’re adventurous, enthusiastic,” he read out. “You always pushed me to do more. If it hadn’t been for you, I’d have lived only half a life. As it was, I feel like I’ve lived a full one.” His heart crumpled and he had to pause, to inhale a few deep breaths, before he could carry on. “You also have endless patience for those you care about. I know, I was privileged to be one of them. What happened to your mom left a deep wound, made you fearful of letting anyone close again, but you let me in. And then I went and died on you, too. I suspect you now believe a happy ending isn’t in the cards for you. I don’t know what happened with your mom at the end, because you refused to talk about it, but I do know you’ve convinced yourself a boy who spent his mid to late teens taking care of her, turning down school trips, dates, weekends away, doesn’t deserve happiness. Hell, you’ve probably already sabotaged any hope of a relationship with my sister by telling yourself you’re doing the right thing by her, by both of us, in ducking out of her life. Let her be happy with some other lucky bastard because you don’t deserve her.”
“That’s true, isn’t it?” Anna’s softly worded question forced him to look at her.
“Yes.” He scrubbed at his face. Damn Colin for being such an insightful sonofabitch.
“Well okay, Luke,” he carried on reading his friend’s words. “For once I’m going to tell you, you’re right. You don’t deserve to be loved by a woman as big hearted as Anna. Not unless you’re prepared to love her back just as wholeheartedly. But if you are? Then stop beating yourself up for the one time you weren’t there for your mom, or for me, and start remembering all the years you were. You’re the only person I’ve ever met who is strong enough, patient enough, and who loves deeply enough to deserve Anna. So do us both a favor, and don’t mess this one up.”
It felt like his heart had cartwheeled right out of his chest and landed at her feet. “But is it too late?” He croaked. “Have I already screwed us up beyond repair?”
A pair of glistening blue eyes met his. “No, you haven’t screwed up anything. But what do you mean by us? Do you mean our friendship—”
“We crossed that line a while ago,” he interrupted roughly. Brave, he reminded himself. Heart in his mouth, he held her gaze. “I’m in love with you, Anna. That’s what I meant to tell you yesterday, but I chickened out. Instead I tried to get a hint about how you felt about me.”
“Can you think of a good reason for me to turn it down?” She repeated the words he’d said yesterday.
“Yes.” His eyes probed hers, and he felt like his whole life was hanging in the balance. One word and his heart soared, or shriveled and died. “Can you?”
A sob wrenched from her. “I thought you were worried about letting Colin down by moving away from his sister.”
“It’s not his sister I don’t want to leave.” His heart was pounding so hard he was sure she could hear it. “It’s you, Anna. If there’s a chance, knowing what you do, that you still want to try a relationship with me, then I’m not going anywhere.”
“But it’s . . . what did you say? A rare opportunity.” Her voice shook.
He let out a harsh laugh. “A rare job opportunity. Have you any idea how rare you are? How rare the chance is for someone like me to even share the same air as you, never mind count you as a friend? And then if we talk about more than friendship?” He didn’t know the right words to convey how unique she was, how utterly head over heels he was for her. “I don’t deserve you, I’m terrified I’m not right for you, but if there’s the tiniest sliver of a chance you think I’m wrong, and that you might be able to one day feel for me what I feel for you, I’d turn down a million job opportunities. Hell, I’d work in an office, at a desk, to try and turn that chance into a reality.”
Her lips twitched. “A desk, huh?”
“Yes.”
“Then stay, please.” Her throat bobbed as she swallowed and met his gaze head on. “This is me, asking for what I want. And I want you to stay. Because I love you, too.”
He swore his heart stopped beating. Then started again with a force that squeezed all the breath from his lungs. “You do?”
The smile she sent him was worth all the agony of yesterday, worth the sleepless night. “Of course I do.”
She lunged for him, flinging her arms around his neck and almost sending him toppling off the coffee table. Everything was a blur after that. He kissed her, she kissed him. His hands grasped her butt, fingers flexing, squeezing as his tongue dived into the depths of her mouth.
“I knew Colin was trying to push us together,” she murmured as he kissed a trail down her slender neck.
He paused, leant back to look at her. “He didn’t know about how I left Mum.” His throat locked up tight. “I was always too ashamed to tell him. If he had—”
Her hands gripped either side of his face, her expression fierce. “If he had, he would have told you what I have. Stop beating yourself up over doing what your mom wanted you to do.” She fluttered kisses over his face. “You think a man as selfish, as cold as you tell yourself you are, would still be beating himself up over that fifteen years later? You think a selfish man would become a Big Brother to Mateo, and I’m sure many other kids before him? You think a selfish man would have given up his job to give his dying best friend a final month of adventures?” Her expression softened. “You think I could fall in love with a man who was anything other than kind, compassionate, big hearted?”
He didn’t know how she could look at him like that, but decided it wasn’t his job to correct her view. It was his job to prove her right. So instead of answering her, he lifted her into his arms. “Bedroom.”
“Umm.” Her tongue wrapped itself round his and he groaned. “We need to put the turkey in.”
Was she kidding him? “Anna.” He drew back, breath coming out in heavy pants. “Forget the turkey.”