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CHAPTER 4

ALEXANDER

The woman beneath me moans against my ear as I slam into her again and again. I like the way Lea purrs, but I wish she'd move a little. Grab my ass. Run her nails down my back. Through my hair. But she doesn't. She just lies there and mewls.

I said I wasn't going to do this anymore, but after working in the pool house all morning, I needed to indulge in something. Lea is one of my go-to calls, and man does she answer. It's never a bad time for her. She was at my house in fifteen minutes; on her knees in less than twenty.

But now, I'm over it. Sinking into her on my bed in my brand-new second-floor bedroom, still cluttered with boxes, I look out the big window that overlooks the backyard, and I wish I would have just jacked off instead.

"You feel so good, Alex," she whispers as she wraps her legs around me. Grabbing one of her ankles, I try a new angle, hoping it will light the spark I need. She digs her fingers into her own hair and starts gasping like I'm pounding her lungs or something.

Christ. This is pathetic.

Movement across the yard steals my attention for a moment. Sunny is walking out to the pool in one of her little bikinis. She lets her hair out of a ponytail and shakes it free. Through the trees, I can just make out her long legs before she dives under the water.

A pulse of heat climbs my spine—sharp, electric, wrong.

I drop Lea’s ankle and bury my face in her shoulder, but my eyes drag back to the girl next door slicing through the water outside while I fuck a thirty-five-year-old cocktail waitress.

And I think about the way she bit her lip this morning, standing in my pool house.

I think about her leaning over the easel in those silk pajama pants.

Fuck.

My skin tingles with electricity as I slide into Lea. I'm a monster, but I can't help myself.

I shouldn’t look.

I do anyway.

She’s climbing out of the pool, water cascading down her back, over her hips, and the perfectly round shape of her ass.

My body reacts before my brain can tell it to knock it the fuck off.

I lose myself, eyes squeezed closed as I come, imagining it's someone else kissing my lips. I picture someone else moaning and getting off instead of faking her orgasm because she thinks it's what I want. The guilt is instant and ugly.

When I open my eyes, Lea is looking out the window, too, and I tense, afraid she'll see what I see and know my secret. I just thought about that teenager while I was fucking her.

She lets out a deep breath and plants a kiss on my cheek before she climbs off the bed. "Thanks, babe. That was fun."

"Yeah," I say, collapsing on the mattress before pulling off the condom and wrapping it in a tissue. "I needed that."

She leans down and ruffles my hair then fishes her underwear out of my bed.

"What you need is to unpack your boxes."

"Yeah, I know."

"You wanna go grab a drink?" she asks without really meaning it.

“Nah. I have work to do. Thanks, though.”

“You got it.” She slips on her dress and fixes her hair in the mirror. I catch her watching me cautiously as I lie back in my bed. “I feel a little bad leaving you here. You sure you’re okay?”

I climb out of my bed because that’s clearly what she wants to see. That I'm okay. That I didn’t have a nervous breakdown and leave my old life behind for this suburban fantasy. Everyone seems to have the same worry these days.

Kissing her on the side of the head, I smack her ass and lie. “I’m fine.”