Page 117
“Don’t enjoy that too much.”
“I’m not enjoying any of this.”
“Good.”
Her mouth twitched.
Mac looked back down at her hand. “You should’ve asked me.”
“I know, and I didn’t and I’m sorry.”
He held his hand up, palm out. “But…” He stopped.
The lantern hissed.
Say the rest. You’re not getting a better chance than this.
“But I should’ve given you an opening to ask me.”
Jodie’s head came up.
“That’s not—” she started.
“On me? It is, though.” Mac let out a breath that shook on the way out. “I don’t like telling people what I need around the heat. Because when I told the doctors what I needed, they wrote it down.” His voice came out rougher than he wanted. “I sat in those rooms and I was honest. They took every honest answer and turned it into the thing that got me released. So now I handle it myself without a word. Water. Breaks. Pace. Whatever. And if nobody notices, even better.”
Realization dawned on Jodie’s face. “But then if somebody does notice…”
“I wonder what else they’re noticing.”
“And whether they’re deciding you can’t do something.”
“Yeah.”
“But I should have been upfront with you. Told you how I compensated when I needed to, and that I could handle any job because of it.”
They sat there. Outside, somebody’s tent zipper went up and then down again. Far off toward the Basin, a coyote started up, and two more answered.
She’s not going to say it’s okay this time.
He’d expected her to, and she hadn’t, and he understood that she was giving him the same thing he’d just given her.
He’d spent years making sure nobody had to worry about him. Jodie had apparently spent years making sure everybody was taken care of before they could worry about it themselves.
Funny old world.
Jodie rubbed her thumb slowly across his knee. He thought about how she’d poured an electrolyte packet into his water and not into hers. She’d put the canopy on top of the load so he could get it up first and never once waited to be thanked for it. She’d made sure a stray dog had water in the shade without expecting it to suddenly become her loyal pet.
And somewhere behind all of it was a reason, and he’d been so busy defending himself that he’d never once asked what it was.
Who does all that for you, Jodie?
The question came up out of nowhere and landed hard.
Mac took Jodie’s hand in his. “Jodie.”
“Hmm.”
“Can I ask you something?”