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“Dammit.” He sighed. “Andrew, I want to come,” he complained, slightly breathless. “But I keep getting stuck in my head.” With a weary groan, Edwin released Andrew’s wrists and rolled off of him. “Sorry about this. I can’t even imagine how uncomfortable you must be. You’ve been hard for . . . well, I can’t even bring myself to check the clock to know how long it’s been.” He lolled his head to the side and looked out the window. Flecks of white were falling from the clouds. “Jesus Christ, it’s starting to snow. It was nice and sunny when I got here. And now it’s snowing.”

“Oh, I’m not bothered by how long we’ve been kissing. Actually, it’s sort of fun, in a way, to be tortured like this.”

Edwin let out a fast breath through his nose, close to a laugh.

“As much as I like the sound of that, I still feel terrible,” he said. “I want us to find pleasure together.”

Andrew rolled over to face him. “I have been.”

“You know what I mean. I want us both to find release. I like watching you orgasm, and I . . .” Heat bloomed on his cheeks. “Well, I know you probably want to watch me, too.”

Andrew’s eyes flickered with excitement. “I’d love that. I’d love to watch you come.”

Chuckling softly, Edwin rolled onto his side. He placed a soft kiss on Andrew’s lips, the thought of Andrew watching him making his stomach swirl.

They lay together like that for a while, both of them in a brief state of bliss. Soon, Andrew’s sweet little smile faltered, and his brow creased.

“Edwin,” he began, “I’d love to watch you come, but I, uhm, I’d love to be the one to make you come, too. If that sounds . . . tolerable.”

Edwin’s stomach swooped. Arousal crashed over him, making his face flush, but then, immediately thereafter, a wave of fear followed, one so strong it pulled him beneath the current, stealing the breath from his lungs.

“I-if it would be too much—” Andrew started.

“No!” Edwin protested. “It’s not too much. Or, it shouldn’t be.” He frowned. “Dammit. It might very well be too much, but I want to try it, even so.”

Andrew’s eyes flashed with excitement, the spark in them clearly evident.

“Really?”

“Yes,” Edwin said. “But if, even for a moment, it makes either of us feel uncomfortable . . .” Edwin paused and worried at his bottom lip. “Andrew, my body, it’s not like yours. I’m afraid you won’t like it.”

“I’ll like it, Edwin,” Andrew replied. “I’ll like it because it’s yours.”

Holding onto that wonderful sentiment, Edwin lunged forward to claim Andrew’s mouth in a fierce kiss. His hands found the top button on Andrew’s shirt, and he began unfastening it before he could reconsider.

Down the line of buttons he moved, his fingers nimble and confident. After Edwin wrenched the last one open, Andrew shrugged out of his shirt, and then Edwin immediately started on Andrew’s pants. All of this, he was familiar with, at least. He’d seen Andrew without his clothes many times now, often after being the one to have removed them.

Once Edwin took off the final piece of Andrew’s clothing—a knee-length cotton sock that he threw clear across the room—he moved to start on the buttons of his own shirt but stopped when he was hit with a swell of uncertainty.

“Andrew, I can take off my shirt. But not my . . . binding.”

“Binding?” Andrew asked before his look of bewilderment transformed into realization, his eyebrows shooting up. “Oh!”

“I might remove it eventually, but my chest . . .” Edwin cringed slightly but pushed himself to continue. “It makes me feel . . . not myself sometimes. Or, maybe most of the time. And my binding cloth helps. You’ve probably noticed that I wear something extra there. I hadn’t known before whether or not you’d figured out what it was, but my wearing it is why I kept my waistcoat on during most of the instances we were intimate.”

“I had no idea what it was, to be honest. I thought it was a bandage, maybe, or something like that.”

Edwin smiled at him. “That makes me feel a bit better. About you having felt it before I explained more about myself.”

Andrew leaned forward, kissing their foreheads together.

“I’m happy to hear that.” He lifted his hands to Edwin’s shirt. “I want to unbutton them for you. May I?”

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Edwin forced a nod. He lay completely still while Andrew carefully unfastened each of his shirt buttons.

When Andrew reached halfway down Edwin’s shirt, Edwin’s vision started to blur from the confusing mixture of embarrassment and relief, his binding cloth now in view. Edwin attempted to blink his tears away, but he knew Andrew must have seen them. Because when he sat up to pull off his shirt, Andrew sat up with him. Andrew kissed his shoulder, as though to provide him with an extra bit of closeness and comfort.

“You’re so handsome,” Andrew whispered, his lips brushing Edwin’s skin as he spoke.