Page 25
“You are not aware, perhaps that it is death for me to be in Attar.”
“And yet we stayed there for moons.”
Before Damon can speak again, Lyr slides an arm around him, “Damon,” he says, “you remember how it was for you when it was I in that dungeon.”
Perl watches Damon take a steadying breath. “Yes. Elric, I apologise. I apologise to all of you. This ceremony for our father has left me quite raw. I will make the preparations as swiftly as I can.”
“And we will leave at dawn?” Elric says, slurring as he often does.
“We will leave as soon as we can,” Damon says and with that he turns and stalks from the room. Kerik and Elric follow him, still arguing.
Lyr, left alone with Perl, turns to him. His voice is soft and diplomatic, “Could we not use the method of travel Karo used to send us to the Blue Mountains?”
Perl shakes his head, “No, Kerik asked me the same last night, but there is not enough magical residue in Attar for such methods to work, even if there were suitable fae ruins.”
“Even with me? The power in me?”
“There is no more power in you. It was all used to defeat Jareleezi. Although it is becoming clear that Kerik seems to be able to draw some power here. It may be that you are doing the same, recharging from the magic in the air. It would still not be enough to take us to a place so far south as Attar, but it would be prudent to know how much magic we will have when we arrive. I will ask Kerik to check whether he can draw from you.”
“Can’t you do it? Can’t you draw magic from me to see how much I have?”
Perl pushes up his leather sleeve to show the iron cuff on his wrist. “I cannot. My power is bound.”
Lyr frowns. “That prevents your magic. Can’t you remove it?”
“I cannot remove it myself. Magic is needed for its removal. Another with magic could.” He pauses. “I could instruct Kerik to do it.”
Lyr tips his head to the side. “And why have you not?”
“I don’t know. Penance, perhaps.”
“Penance for what you did to me?” Lyr says, empathetic understanding shining in his bright eyes.
The words spill from Perl’s lips. A true confession. “That is part of it, but there is more. I fear I am already failing in what I meant to do. We are here when we should be in Attar. I have Damon, Kerik and Tobi but not Jemel and Lukas. We have the Books of Alios but cannot read them. The fae can understand almost any language but the Ur-Ambolk Jareleezi used is steeped in magical binding, perhaps she did that deliberately. It cannot be broken by my own magical abilities even if I had more power. Without Jemel we are blinded. Until recently I knew how everything would go. But now it feels like chaos. I did not expect this part to be so hard. I have been distracted and Ur-Durik has already taken Attar.”
Quietly Lyr says, “You have been distracted by your heart.”
Perl does not know what to say to that. Is it so obvious?
Lyr smiles, a sweet secret. “I see the marks on your neck, even with the way you dress, not all is covered. And when you showed the cuff… there are finger marks on your wrist. You hide the marks of your bed pleasures well, but not completely. And even if you did not, all is clear in the way you look at him. How you react when he touches you.”
“It is true,” Perl says. “All you say is true. I have been distracted by my desire. Blinded. I took you from Attar to save him. But the demon was already in the palace. In Atticul. I did not know, but I did not examine things. I should have paused, I should have discovered more before I bid you leave with me to save him.”
“We need Kerik too. He was in the greatest danger. If we had not gone to the Blue Mountains he would have been destroyed by Jareleezi. And if you are enjoying his bed, Perl,” — Lyr puts his hands on both of Perl’s arms, — “you deserve some happiness. Some peace. You have had none for so long.”
Perl shakes his head. He wants to pull out of Lyr’s comforting grip, but he does not. “But now? In such times?”
“When Damon and I first left Attar, we spent many moons together aboard the White Watch. Every pleasure was ours. But there was always a shadow lodged in my breast.”
“Jareleezi?” Perl says, guilt making his voice crack.
Lyr nods. “But now she is dead and that shadow is lifted. Because you took us to Ismagaar.” Lyr smiles again, but then he sighs. “The shadow is gone from me. I wish I could rest now, with Damon. But I cannot. Damon is so preoccupied. Is it wrong to say I am jealous of Damon’s mission, that it takes his attention from me? I never knew, until I met Damon, that I could be so jealous. I covet him. Even from the attention of the battle I know we must all face.”
9
JEMEL
Jemel wakes to the ghosts of his dreams. More of the same dreams.
