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“The way she spoke to Lyric did.” I fastened another button. “She didn’t need anyone to rescue her.”
“You defended her anyway.”
“Lyric deserved worse.”
“I won’t argue with that.”
Charm hadn’t apologized for herself or softened the truth before anyone could dislike it. She’d dismissed Lyric and returned to her drink as if defending her own worth required less thought than selecting vodka over wine.
That woman had sat beside me for an hour, and I’d wanted every minute she was willing to give me.
“I thought I’d be angry,” I admitted. “Seeing her should’ve reminded me why I left.”
“It probably did.”
“It reminded me of everything else too.”
Cade pushed away from the wall. “That doesn’t mean you owe her anything.”
“I know.”
“I mean it. You don’t owe Charm forgiveness, conversation, or another chance because she looks healthier and learned Spanish. You also don’t have to question yourself every time being around her feels good.”
The fear that had followed me from the library climbed higher inside my chest.
“I loved her enough to stay while she hid me, made promises she couldn’t keep, and heard every boundary as proof that I didn’t want her. When I finally walked away, I knew I was leaving something fucking integral behind. I did it because losing her was the only option I could survive.” I reached for my belt and dragged it through the loops. “Now she speaks Spanish and orders Tito’s, and my body acts like these fifteen months were a fucking inconvenience.”
Cade held my gaze. “Your body remembers her. That doesn’t mean the rest of you has to forget.”
“And if I do?”
“Then remember why you left before you make a decision you can’t live with.”
His answer carried none of the reassurance I didn’t want from him. Cade had watched me break. He knew wanting Charm again wasn’t romantic when I had barely survived losing her the first time.
“I’m fucking terrified,” I said.
“I know.”
“That isn’t advice.”
“I’m getting married in two days. My advice is currently focused on seating arrangements and preventing Bliss’s relatives from turning lawn games into organized crime.”
“That sounds more useful.”
“I thought so.” Cade walked toward the door, then stopped with one hand on the knob. “Nobody downstairs expects you to figure this out tonight. Eat dinner. Try not to punch Lance when he gets here tomorrow. Anything beyond that is easy.”
“Beautiful speech.”
“I’m saving the good material for the wedding.”
Cade opened the door but stopped before walking into the corridor. His hand remained on the knob as he looked back at me. “One more thing. Everything I said about letting yourself enjoy Charm still stands. You can want her, laugh with her, and let tonight feel good without dropping your guard around Lance once he arrives.”
“No mames, I am not afraid of Lance Harlen.”
“I didn’t say you were.”
“He gave destroying me his best effort and fucking failed.”
