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This was not the first time or even the second the rug had been pulled out from under me.

I hadn’t been through what I’d been through without learning one most basic fact: When it was time to move on.

I loved being with Carter. Every second of it. But my feelings were not his feelings, and he’d been reluctant from the start.

This had all been my idea, at my insistence. He’d really just given in. Who knew why?

Simple but powerful lust. Pity. An irresistible combination of the two was my best guess.

And now I’d ruined his life and even that uncomplicated lust was gone in an instant, only barest traces of pity left in his hollow gaze.

He didn’t want me anymore, hadn’t touched me since we’d been caught and he’d been fired, in fact he could barely look at me.

He didn’t outright kick me out of his house, and that was something.

However, I knew I’d have to leave and soon. I could only see it going a few ways, and none of them were good. Either he’d eventually get up the nerve to ask me to leave, and that would break me, or he never would, instead letting me stay with him for good but only out of his own innate core of decency. That would break me too, just more slowly.

I couldn’t use his pity to trap him, couldn’t take advantage of his sense of obligation.

I used to think that I could, but I loved him too much not to want him to have exactly the life he wanted, not a life I thrust upon him.

It was agony, but I started making plans for the future. Plans that didn’t include Carter.

My friend Maddie wanted to get a place close to UNLV and needed a roommate. I jumped at the chance. I wouldn’t be attending college in the near future, but the location was good for all kinds of other reasons, not the least of which was that a free clinic was right there and a lot of places were always hiring within easy distance.

Also, I didn’t want to be alone. I’d discovered by then just how much money Carter had deposited into my bank account, and even though I knew I could afford my own place, that was the last thing I wanted now.

I went apartment shopping for weeks with Maddie. I began packing. I knew what I was going to do, but I dragged my feet for every bit of it.

We eventually settled on a place.

I moved my things from the house to the apartment one carload at a time.

Carter didn’t notice any of it. Or maybe he did, but he just didn’t care. I figured I’d never know.

I didn’t say goodbye to him in person.

I didn’t tell him anything.

Not that I was heartbroken.

Not that I was pregnant.

I kept it all to myself. For him, not for me.

Instead, I left a note.

Carter,

Thank you for everything. I’ve decided it’s better for both of us if I move out and move on. I’m starting the next chapter of my life, and I know you would approve. I’m taking the car because I have no other way to get around and you said it was mine, but if you change your mind about that, just tell me, and I’ll return it. Otherwise, please don’t call or text me. A clean break is what I need.

With love,

Nova

I knew if I told him face to face he’d protest and talk me out of it.

He wouldn’t even have to mean it.