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“See, that’s the bullshit I’m talking about. She wouldn’t have walked up to that nigga for no reason.”
“Apparently, she thought she recognized him. That don’t mean shit,” he countered.
“She probably thought his ass was somebody she done fucked.”
“Nigga, why everything gotta come back to Kat fucking?”
“Because that’s all her hoe ass is good for.” I shrugged.
He didn’t argue with me because we both knew I wasn’t lying. There wasn’t much about our childhood I could bring up without Kat’s bullshit being somewhere in the middle of it.
“Look, I’on know why she thought she knew Saint, but if you wanna know that bad… ask her,” Joni suggested.
“Fuck that bitch. I’ain asking her shit,” I snapped.
“Then leave the shit alone.”
I pushed my plate aside and rubbed my hand down my face. The more I thought about Kat and the shit we didn’t know, the more something else started bothering me.
“Aye, you ever wonder who our fathers are?” I asked.
“Not really. Why you asking?”
“Because ain’t it fucked up that we’re grown as hell and don’t know shit about them niggas? Not even their names,” I replied.
We laughed, but the more I thought about it, the more fucked up the whole situation was. Kat had spent so much time running behind different men that she barely bothered raising the two sons she already had. Ma Pat and Gee were the ones who stepped up, making sure we had somewhere to lay our heads, clothes on our backs, and food in our stomachs.
“Man, Ma Pat and Gee deserved better than having to raise kids they ain’t make,” I said, shaking my head.
“Yeah, but you know they wasn’t about to let us go without. Ma Pat treated us just like she did Rah, and Gee would’ve raised the whole damn neighborhood if she had to,” Joni replied.
“Shit, especially Gee. That woman ain’t never met a child whose ass she didn’t threaten to beat,” I joked.
I laughed before taking another bite of my food. We could joke about it now, but growing up without our parents had affected us in ways neither one of us talked about much. Ma Pat and Gee had done everything they could for us, but that didn’t change the fact that Kat had been out living her best life while they handled her responsibilities.
“Shit, I’ain looking for no daddy, but I’d at least like to know who the fuck the nigga is,” I admitted. “You ain’t never wondered if yours knew about you?”
“Yeah, especially after having kids of my own. I can’t imagine knowing I got a child somewhere and not wanting to be involved,” Joni answered. “But we don’t know what Kat told them.”
“Exactly. For all we know, them niggas could’ve wanted us, and her trifling ass kept us away from them,” I replied.
“Or they could’ve known and ain’t gave a fuck. You gotta consider that too,” he pointed out.
I nodded because he was right. I hated the nigga who helped create me just as much as I hated her ass. Those niggas could’ve been just as sorry as she was. Hell, they might’ve had whole families somewhere and never thought twice about the kids they left behind.
“You ever think about how different shit would’ve been if we had our fathers around?” I asked.
“Sometimes, but I’ain about to sit around wondering what could’ve been. We had Ma, Gee, and each other. That’s more than some people had.”
“I know that, but it still would’ve been nice to have a father around. Somebody to teach us shit instead of us having to figure everything out ourselves,” I admitted.
“Yeah, it would’ve. But look at us now. We ain’t do too bad for a couple of niggas who had to learn most of that shit the hard way,” he pointed out.
I couldn’t argue with that. We’d made plenty of mistakes growing up, but we’d also managed to build lives for ourselves that neither one of us would’ve imagined back then. Still, I wondered what kind of men our fathers were and whether there was anything about myself I’d inherited from a nigga I’d never met.
“Shit, I might ask Ma Pat what she knows one day,” I admitted.
“You can, but don’t be surprised if she tell you to go ask your mama. You know she’on like getting in the middle of Kat’s bullshit,” Joni replied.
