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“We good, we don’t drink. Let’s just go chill and watch a movie or two.” Taffy looked at me in a panic because our plan was to give them the drugs and wait until they passed out. We would rob them blind and be gone before they woke up. That plan obviously wouldn’t work. They began walking over to the couch, but I went the opposite way.

“I have to pee. Gone and start the movie.” They didn’t think anything of it as I walked into the bathroom. Once the door was closed, I began cursing under my breath. I couldn’t control the panic that began to take over. Who the fuck goes out of town and don’t get drunk? Lame ass niggas. That’s who. FUCKKK! My mind began racing, and I said to hell with it. I was calling an audible and I prayed it went right because I was leaving with that money. Grabbing the gun out of my purse, I closed my eyes and prayed over my baby.

“Lord, please don’t let this gun go off. I ain’t trying to kill nobody tonight. Guide my hand and let the butt of this gun step in and do your work. Let it be heavy enough to knock these niggas out, but gentle enough that everybody wakes up tomorrow. In Jesus’ name, Amen!” Opening my eyes, I walked out the door swiftly and approached them from behind. Swinging my arms back as far as they would go, I brought it forward with all the strength from the ancestors and sent the butt crashing against Brandon’s head. His ass had to go first since he was the disrespectful one. If we let him get a drop on us, he was for sure going to lay our asses out.

“What the fuck?” Ironically, that came from Taffy instead of Meko since his face was buried in her titties. Before he could look up, I cracked his ass too.

“Shut the fuck up bitch and grab the money. I don’t know how long they gone be out, but I’m not trying to be nowhere around when Brandon rise up.” Pulling my shirt off, I wiped off everything we touched. Taffy grabbed the money, and I threw my gun in the bag. I used my shirt to pull the door open, and our asses ran towards the elevator as I put my shirt on. “Keep your heads down.” I didn’t want us to get sloppy since we were leaving in a rush. When we got to the car, we drove off fast. Once we made it about five blocks, me and Taffy fell out laughing.

“Bitch, why would you hit them niggas like that?”

“I need that money,” I emphasized like TT did on Set It Off.

“How much we get?” Peanut asked excitedly. I wanted to tell his ass he ain’t get shit, but I kept quiet and started back chewing my gum. Juanita always said, if you don’t have something nice to say, make sure they ain’t close enough for you to hear it. So, I mumbled my next words.

“You ain’t get shit.”

“What you say, baby?” I looked at Peanut and tried to fight down my laugh.

“I said we got all that shit.” Turning the radio on, I headed towards Taffy’s house, so we could count the money. Peanut wasn’t about to ruin my ghetto blessing. This was a good day, and it was going to end that way.

Anton “Tax” Hodges

“Why you looking at me like that?” My current fling, Crystal was staring at me with her face turned up. We were sitting on my couch watching a movie, and out of nowhere a strong feeling came over me. We’ve only been seeing each other three months, but in this moment, I knew I no longer wanted this shit. She hadn’t done anything wrong, it’s just not what I was looking for in my life. While there was nothing wrong with laying up watching movies, I was tired of the perfect set up. At thirty five, I done dated all kinds of women, and fucked them just the same. My money seemed to attract the same type. Appeasing, complying, I’ll do whatever to make you my man mentalities, and I was over it.

I know most niggas wanted their girls to shut the fuck up and do whatever they wanted, but I needed more. These hoes didn’t do shit but hop on one leg telling me we can do whatever I like, but I wasn’t Prince Akeem, and this damn sure wasn’t Zamunda. Standing up, I started grabbing her belongings and putting them in a pile. I could feel her staring a hole through me, but she didn’t say a word proving my point. Who gone sit there and watch a nigga getting all they shit and not ask them what the fuck they doing? When I was sure I had gathered everything, I took them over to her and dropped it at her feet.

“Your time is up. I’ll have Key drop you off a severance package.” Crystal looked dumbfounded and confused.

“Excuse me? How the hell we go from watching a movie to you putting me out? Did I do something wrong?”

“That. That’s what you’re doing wrong. Damn! Curse a nigga out or try and fight for your spot.”

“I don’t understand,” she whined aggravating me more. Letting out a deep breath, I sat down.

“Look, I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, but you’re boring as fuck. Your entire personality revolves around me and what I want. Go find yourself, or some nigga that likes that kind of shit. Either way, you gotta get the fuck up out my shit.” She started crying, but I wasn’t impressed.

“Anton, I love you.”

“You can’t be crying on my Persian rug. I’ve asked you to leave my shit, if I have to put you out, it will be after you’re done breathing.” She looked at me with wide eyes recognizing the threat. Not about to repeat myself again, I grabbed my phone and sent a text to my nigga Key. I wasn’t worried about her not listening. I’m sure she could feel death daring her to defy me. Grabbing her things, she sobbed loudly as she left out. As soon as the door closed, I could feel the weight of all that nothingness being lifted off me.

Going to the basement, I accessed my vault and grabbed fifty thousand dollars. Putting it in a custom gift bag that read ‘Thank you for your services,’ I headed back upstairs. Sitting on the couch, I waited for Key to arrive. It took him about an hour, since he had to drive from the city to Frankfort. I knew he would use his code to get in, so I wasn’t surprised when he walked in the room. When he saw the bag, he immediately shook his head.

“Another one bites the dust.”

“Better the dust than a bullet.” We both laughed as he walked to the fridge to grab a soda. Key had been my nigga since I was eighteen. He had seen so many women come and go; I don’t understand why he’s still shocked when it happens. He walked back in and sat next to me still obviously disgusted.

“Your ass gone die alone. What was wrong with this one?”

“Bitch was boring. I done had better conversations with niggas I was finna kill.” Key looked at me in disbelief.

“Nigga, are you dating or waiting on them to entertain you at a birthday party?”

“Shid, I’ll probably have a better time than I did with Crystal’s ass. I don’t want a mufucka I can walk all over. My feet get to hurting.” We both fell out laughing, but I continued seriously. “They know they time with me is not guaranteed. I put they asses on a trial basis. If they don’t show me something in that time, they ass is gone.”

“Oh, now I get it. Your ass is toxic. You want some crazy bitch burning your house down to get your attention.”

“Naw, it’s levels to crazy. I need crazy with a purpose not them out here just doing shit.”