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“Then where my money at?”

“How the hell am I supposed to know?” I wanted to tell her it was probably with my seventy five thousand, but she looked like she would fight, so I kept that thought to myself.

“Every damn dime, Bubbles. It’s all gone.” She looked as if she was fighting back tears.

“Wait. You’re serious.” Seeing that, I grabbed my phone and dialed Anton. There was no way he could have done that. Out of nowhere, I remembered Taffy talking about the friend he was with that night at the club. The one that put a bitch’s credit score at zero. He definitely had the means to do it.

“What’s up, Stink?”

“Did you steal my mama’s money?” He paused before falling out laughing.

“What was it that she said? Oh, yeah. If you ain’t watching your pockets, somebody else is.” My mouth fell the fuck open.

“Anton!” I tried to whisper so she couldn’t hear me.

“Talk to you later, Stink.” He hung up in my face, and I had no idea what to say. I turned around and I didn’t need to say a word. Juanita could read my expression. She went back to rocking and shaking her head.

“Any nigga that will rob his girl’s mama and go home and sleep like it’s a silent night ain’t right in the head.” I stared at her and then busted out laughing.

“Juanita, you stole Paw Paw’s insurance money from grandma!” Her head snapped toward me.

“That was different.”

“HOW?” She lit another cigarette and began rocking harder.

“Don’t matter. Just know, that nigga ain’t right.” Juanita was acting like the victim of some terrible injustice, and I’d never seen anything funnier in my life. “Lord, I done seen some evil people in my life, but that one right there…” I had tears in my eyes.

“Girl, you need to stop. You stole his wallet. I told you somebody was going to get your ass back one day.”

“Bubbles, I’m telling you. That nigga ain’t right.”

“Yall crazy as hell.” She waved her cigarette toward the door, dropping ashes everywhere.

“Get your ass out of here. Done brought that thieving ass nigga in my house.” Turning around laughing, I went to leave.

“Okay, girl.”

“And don’t bring his ass back over here neither!”

“Bye, mama.” I laughed harder.

“Low down mufucka!” was the last thing I heard before Johnny Taylor began blasting through the speakers singing about his last two dollars. By the time I got in the car, my face was covered in tears. I couldn’t stop laughing at that lady. She was salty as fuck, and the fact that she believed she was a victim is hilarious. Starting my car, I shook my head. I never thought I would live to see the day Juanita got Juanita’d.

Anton “Tax” Hodges

I pulled up outside Bubbles’s building and waited for her to come down. When she finally did, she didn’t approach the truck. She kept glancing at her phone and down the block. I’m guessing she was looking for the Benz I was in the day I took her on the date. Rolling the window down, I called out to her.

“You gone stand there looking slow all day, or you gone get in?” She turned my way with her face bunched up until she noticed it was me.

“How was I supposed to know you was gone be in a Bentayga? I’ve only seen the Maybach.” She walked toward the truck and climbed in.

“I told you I had more than one car when I said all my vehicles got tint.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t say you were coming in something different today.”

“You said you couldn’t be seen out here with a nigga like I’m ugly, so I brought the car with the good tint.” She rolled her eyes, making me laugh. “Naw, but I like to switch it up so niggas don’t get used to seeing me in one car.”

“I understand that, but you could have told me you were switching up.”