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I even saved the tickets from when I went to see Twilight Eclipse. This one box held so many memories; I knew I’d be here for hours. When I got to the bottom of the box, I peeked inside, and the only thing left was a diary. It was pink and sparkly, just the way I liked everything back then. When I opened it, the first thing I saw was a doodle that said, “Sav Tha Barbie” with hearts, lipsticks, and purses.

The first page was dated February 21st, my birthday.

Dear Diary,

My big sister, Shaina, got me so much cute shit for my birthday. I’m the big 16 now! Ayeee! Mommy got my nails done. I got some new boots and a coat. And Daddy gave me $250. I’m going to the mall with my friends Alicia and Yari later.

Sav Tha Barbie

I fell back on the bed and kept reading. My little grown, bad ass ain’t have no business cursing this much. I wrote in this thing that my mom was getting on my fuckin’ nerves. That they never let me do shit. Just mad as hell.

March 20th

Dear Diary,

Mommy and Daddy agreed that I could spend spring break with my cousin, Tempress. I’m so excited. Finally, I can have some freedom. Tempress said she would take me into Baltimore City, where the real parties be at and ALL the cute boys. I already got my outfits picked out. I’ma have so much fun.

Sav Tha Barbie

The days leading up to spring break, I had some crazy diary entries. I was doing everything I could to stay in my parents’ good graces. But when I turned the page, a nameplate necklace was taped inside. I laughed once and peeled the tape off. I turned it over and stared at the name.

Juicy.

If the nameplate didn’t unsettle me, the diary entry damn sure did. To be this young and free again. Excited about life and meeting new people. I read over the entry slowly, thinking about how much life had changed.

April 19th

Dear Diary,

Me and Tempress just got home from the party, and it was so fun! I met a lot of her friends. They were cool, and they could dress. I also met this boy named Juvie. He said he was 16 too, but he acted like he was grown. He had gold in his mouth, and he got a car. But he got me something to eat when we left, so I guess he’s cool. Anyway, I gave him my number. I’m going to bed.

Sav Tha Barbie

I smiled, staring down at the page and the Juicy necklace. At sixteen, I thought I knew everything. I thought freedom was staying out late, having a couple dollars in my pocket, and doing whatever my parents told me not to do.

One random night in Baltimore would turn into months of somebody knowing me better than I knew myself. And then today, I found a necklace and remembered exactly who I was when I knew him. Juicy. I felt so far removed from that carefree girl. She had a heart so big, and she wanted to fill it with everything Juvie. Crazy how life changes.

I sat up, stuck the necklace between the pages, and then placed everything back in the box. The door swung open, and my mom popped in and sat on the edge of the bed.

“You alright, Sav?” she asked, studying my face.

“Yeah, Mommy, I’m fine. Just looking at these old pictures and stuff. Why didn’t you tell us we looked a mess?” I laughed, laying my head on her lap.

“Because I couldn’t tell y’all shit. Honey, y’all were Barbies, with that dry-ass lipstick and two-toned hair… But y’all were having fun,” she said, staring off.

“Yeah, we did. Is Daddy here yet?”

“Girl, you laying in my lap, asking about your daddy! And yeah, that negro here. Go see him. He’s downstairs inhaling his food as usual. Don’t forget these damn boxes either. I’m throwing it away if it ain’t sorted.” She laughed, rubbing my head.

I closed my eyes while she rubbed my head, feeling like that Juicy I used to know, at least right then.

“I’ll mark everything. Thank you for keeping all my memories,” I said.

“Of course. Come downstairs with us when you’re ready.”

She kissed my head, then left the room and closed the door behind her. I grabbed a marker and wrote Keep on the box I’d opened, then skimmed through the others, marking them. My whole teenage life was bottled up in this room. One small jewelry box sat on my desk, and when I opened it, I smiled. It was the promise ring Juvie got me when he asked me to be his girlfriend. It had one little pink stone in the center.

This room held too much. A lot of good times, but also things I wished I could forget. I closed the jewelry box, tossed it in with the diary, and walked out. Some memories were easier to pack away than they were to leave behind.