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The shower sprayed on while I stood at the sink, lookin’ at my reflection. I used to look in the mirror and recognize the nigga starin’ back. Steam fogged the mirror as I stood there, watchin’ my reflection disappear.

I stepped into the shower and let the hot water spray down my head and back. My body was sore, but not from training or a workout; it was the pretendin’. The weight of holdin’ all this shit together. The only place I could let it all go was here. I pressed my forehead against the shower wall and let the water do its job. I prayed. Asked God to get me through whatever move these mufuckas would force on me. Latherin’ up, I kept my eyes closed, lettin’ my mind settle before I called Luke back. I rinsed and lathered up one more time before steppin’ out of the shower.

I wrapped my towel around my waist and stood by the door, listenin’. This house was so big that everything echoed. Ni was laughin’, but I didn’t hear another voice, so she was probably on the phone.

“No, girl. I’m in for the night. Yeah, JuMarion is here. He’s upstairs. Yeah… I’ll call you tomorrow. Okay, bye.”

I stepped into the room, dried off, then threw on the clothes that Ni laid out for me. Comin’ downstairs, I could hear the music Ni had playin’. I got closer to the kitchen and saw that she’d lit some candles. She was sittin’ at the table, waitin’ for me. I sat next to her, and she leaned over, grabbin’ my hand all soft.

She stroked my hand. “You look relaxed.”

“I’m straight,” I said, pullin’ my hand back slowly. “Who was that on the phone?”

“Oh, that was Raja. She was asking me to go out tonight.”

“Why you ain’t goin’?”

She scoffed, stabbin’ her salad. “Because I want you to fuck me. I made dinner, lit candles… I even put lingerie on.”

“You coulda just woke me up when you got back. But cool.”

“Why do you act like that?” She dropped her fork. “Did I piss you off or something?”

“Man, Ni, go ’head wit’ that shit. You wanna fuck? Okay. You wanna stay up under me to see what I got goin’ on? Fine. The fuck you want me to say?”

She slid my fork from my hand and climbed into my lap. “Act like you see me. You just kissed all over me and now I’m invisible. Why?”

I looked at her for a second. Ni wanted me to say somethin’ sweet, give her the version of this shit that made it easier for her to swallow. I ain’t have it in me tonight.

“I see you every day, Ni.”

Her face dropped. “That’s not what I said. I want you to see me.”

“I know what you said, and I know what you meant.”

She started that stupid poutin’ shit and climbed off my lap. We ate without sayin’ another word to each other. Ni kept makin’ noises, and I ignored that shit. I couldn’t even finish my food. I left my plate there and stood. She grabbed my hand before I could walk away.

“Are you leaving?” she asked.

“Nah. I’m callin’ Luke. I’ll be in my office.”

If I stood there and entertained that shit, she’d start cryin’. Askin’ me why I never loved her. She knew the answer; she just wanted somebody to pacify her, and I wasn’t doin’ it. When I made it to my office, I knew either Ni or the housekeeper had been in there. It smelled like Pledge and a new strong ass Plug-In. The dark wood floors had a layer of fresh polish, and my desk was cleaned off. I dropped in my chair and dialed Luke’s number. He answered on the second ring.

“Juvie! You gotta see the deals that are on the table, brother. Check your email so we can go over it. It’s five teams,” he said, all chipper and shit.

“Stop callin’ me ‘brother.’ You ain’t my fuckin’ blood, nigga,” I snapped, scrollin’ through the deals.

None of this shit mattered. Wherever these mufuckas wanted me to go, that’s where I was goin’.

Chicago Breeze: Eight-year contract, guaranteed $344 million, signing bonus $35 million, AAV $43 million.

“Do you see this shit? This is insane!”

“Luke… Give me a fuckin’ minute, nigga. Let me read the shit,” I spat, still readin’.

“Sorry. I’m just pumped!”

Houston Heat: Seven-year contract, $315 million guaranteed, $40 million signing bonus, AAV $45 million.