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“Sav… I’m so tired.” She sobbed into my chest.
“I know,” I said, rubbing her back. “Let it out, Lene.”
I held her until she finally pulled away. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, then fished through my glove box, looking for a tissue. My phone buzzed in my jacket pocket, but I ignored it. My main focus was my sister. Once she cleaned herself up, she turned toward me and grabbed my hands like she needed me to keep her steady. Her hands shook lightly, and I squeezed them a little tighter.
“Before you ever get married, make sure you’re really ready for that shit. If I knew then what I know now, I would have waited.” She let out a shaky sigh, looking away from me.
“We got married too young. We had these kids too young, back-to-back. The shit we did to each other in our twenties is still alive in our thirties. Both of us have been unfaithful. You know this. The whole family knows this. Shit, I caught cases for beating on his bitches. He definitely put a hole or two in a nigga about me. But it’s been years, Sav. Over five years since we promised each other that we’d stop.”
It was true. Khalil and Selene had definitely done that tit-for-tat shit for as long as I could remember. Married or not, they both were for the streets. They always found their way back together—and had another damn baby. Khalil was just as crazy as my sister. Both of them fought each other and whoever they decided to cheat with. They were so toxic that I didn’t understand how they lasted so long.
“Then what’s going on now? I don’t understand, Lene.” I asked.
“You remember Hondo? Well, he’s convinced that Essence is his daughter. Now, I know she’s Khalil’s. I wouldn’t lie on my pussy. Khalil will call me all kinds of cheating hoes every time Hondo pops up. Them niggas just got into it at the mall a few weeks ago while Essence was there. I mean, Khalil whooped his ass, then came home, going off on me. I told him to get the blood test for Essence if he had any doubts.”
“Hondo? I thought that nigga was in jail. Didn’t he get like fifteen years?”
“Yeah,” Selene said, rolling her eyes. “But he’s out. He won his appeal, and it didn’t stop him from mailing letters to Mommy’s house for me, or asking about Essence. The nigga is delusional. This has been going on for years. I wish I never cheated. I should have just left, because any time he thinks I might be cheating, he starts showing his ass. But I love him, Sav. I love my family, and I want to be with my husband.”
All this time, I didn’t know why they kept going through this cycle. I stayed quiet for a minute, being careful about how I responded. The easy thing for her to do would be to divorce Khalil, but I knew she didn’t want that. And as crazy as they both were, I knew they loved each other. Selene pulled Khalil out of the streets and showed him a way to make some legal money. And entrepreneurship was working for them. Khalil kept Selene from catching assault charges. Our daddy literally called her a pitbull in a skirt. The whole situation was fucked up. But my nieces were the real victims.
“Y’all decided to stay married, Lene. You and Khalil need to be grown about this shit. Get the blood test for Essence, get into therapy ASAP, and at this point, my nieces need it too. That shit is traumatic for kids, and it’s not fair. And you gotta stop tryna stab your damn husband every time he says something you don’t like. Your temper is the one thing that always lands you in jail. Lay that shit down, Selene. You want to stay married, right?”
She let my hands go and fell back into the seat, looking up at the ceiling and nodding. “I don’t want a divorce. I just want peace in my home and in my marriage.”
“Then y’all gotta do that shit together. And please don’t tell me y’all are still physically fighting each other.”
Selene whipped her head toward me. “Hell no! I was only gonna stab him today because he kept talking reckless. I ignored him, and he antagonized me, so I snapped. He had me fucked up. I’m on my period, Everly’s room was trifling, and Eastlyn told me about a school project at the last minute. And that damn Essence? Her slick ass mouth almost left her toothless. Even the cat pissed me off. It was just a rough day.”
I cracked up laughing because Selene could be mean as a snake on her period. “Bitch! Your period is what really sent you over the edge. All this when you could have taken some Midol and laid the fuck down.”
Selene was laughing so hard she started snorting and shit. “Girl, fuck you. They had me fucked up. But, for real. I do have to get my shit together. I can’t keep doing this to my babies. They deserve a peaceful home and stability.”
“They do,” I said, grabbing her hand. “You deserve that too. I ain’t mad that you wanna stay with your husband, but I definitely don’t want to get another call like this. Get it right. Next time, I’m coming through there, and you and Khalil gon’ have to see me. Okay?”
Selene stared at me for a second, and tears welled in her eyes. Then, she threw her body against mine, hugging me tight.
“I love you, Savi. But you can’t beat me, bitch.”
We both cracked up laughing because it was true. But one thing about me, she knew she couldn’t just whoop me either. We’d fight like dogs in the street, then turn around and dog walk a bitch together. It had always been like that, and it would stay that way.
My phone buzzed in my pocket again. I pulled it out of my pocket. One message was from Emery.
Em: You alright? Your family good?
Me: Yeah, baby. I might not be able to make it to your game. I’m sorry.
“You coming inside?” Selene asked.
“Yeah. I need to respond to these messages first.”
“I need to order some food to cook. I hope Khalil turned off the dinner at home, so him and Essence don’t have to eat out. It’s a shame I gotta cook two dinners in one day.”
Selene kept talking, but when I opened my DMs and saw the message waiting for me, I had to pause for a minute.
JuvieRoss27: Professional as hell. Lol. I have training tomorrow. Come to the Blackhawks training center if you got time, or I can come to you. Whatever you cool wit.
I closed out the message and looked over at Selene.
