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“You there, Juvie? What’s goin’ on?”
“Ma… I hate it here,” I slurred. “I ain’t even supposed to be here.”
She giggled, thinkin’ I was just drunk callin’. “You drunk, son?”
“Nah, Mommy… I ain’t supposed to be here. They sent me here. I ain’t got nobody no more. I ain’t got you… or Granny… or Juicy. They won’t let me leave.”
She went quiet on the other end. I closed my eyes to keep the tears from comin’. She wasn’t supposed to hear me cry. I was supposed to be strong. Get this shit done and move on wit’ my life when my time was up. But I couldn’t hold it no more.
“Ma,” I croaked. “You still there? You hear me?”
“Yeah, baby. I’m here. Who not lettin’ you leave? You gon’ have a break soon. Just come home. You cryin’?”
Tears ran down my cheeks, and I didn’t even feel ashamed no more. I let myself cry to the person who loved me the most. My stomach started turnin’. I knew everything I drank and ate today was comin’ up. Sweat covered my body, and my mouth started watering.
“You don’t get it. It ain’t no breaks. When I’m home, they still watchin’ me. The camp, Ma. That’s why I be on percs… I can’t take no more.”
“Percs? You high? You need to throw it up, and you need water now? Who’s with you?”
The worry in her voice made me feel guilty as hell for even callin’. But who else could I call? Nobody here would give a fuck about me.
I wiped my face, then felt around for my water bottle on my nightstand. “It’s just me… I got water. Ma, I be high all the time. They made me stop football. I didn’t wanna play no fuckin’ baseball.”
She huffed, movin’ around. “Who is they, Juvie? Talk to me. Don’t go to sleep. I’m about to call an ambulance.”
“Ma… No! Don’t call. I drank… a lot. I just gotta throw up. It’s the camp. They won’t let me go home.”
“JuMarion Izra… You scarin’ me. What and who at the camp? Tell Mommy what’s goin’ on, or I’m comin’ tonight!”
“Yusef a bitch, Ma. For real. It’s him. He won’t let me go.”
I turned on my side and reached for my trash can. My mouth was waterin’ so much that spit slid down my chin.
“Yusef? Who is that, baby? Somebody at the school?”
She was panicking. My bitch ass was still cryin’, and all I wanted was to get away from here. My stomach tightened. Then, the vomit came up so fast; I knew I missed the trash can. I wiped my mouth wit’ the back of my hand when it stopped.
I rolled onto the floor where it was cooler and spread out on my back. “Nah, Ma. He ain’t wit’ the school. He the reason I’m here. I can’t do shit without him on my dick. Shit, I’m sorry, Ma. I ain’t mean that.”
Mommy’s voice cracked. “JuMarion, listen to me. Is somebody hurtin’ you, baby? It’s okay to tell me.”
“JuMarion? Baby, talk to me.”
I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t get shit out. My chest felt like it was about to cave in. I couldn’t breathe. Her voice started soundin’ like it was driftin’ off.
“Ma?” I croaked out.
“JuMarion!”
I shot up in bed, gaspin’ for air. For a second, I ain’t know where the fuck I was. My body was covered in sweat, shakin’, and the same tears sat in my eyes. But when my eyes focused, I knew exactly where I was. The same box mufuckas put me in. The sterile ass bedroom in L.A. In a house that was never a fuckin’ home. I stared at the ceiling, wishin’ I never made that fuckin’ call.
The sun was just startin’ to rise, and to keep the lil’ piece of sanity I had, I wasn’t waitin’ to get the fuck out of L.A. My phone buzzed on the nightstand, and I grabbed it without lookin’. These niggas Rue and Don sent me a message on IG.
“Juv, you shoulda came out wit’ us, patna! Look at these bad ass bitches we takin’ home, nigga!” Don hollered.
Rue had some bitch over his shoulder like a lumberjack, smackin’ her ass. “It was a fuckin’ movie! Next time, we gon’ force you the fuck out.”
I sat up on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands. My body was sore as fuck from my workout, but it ain’t have shit on how my heart felt. I didn’t have the energy to respond to them niggas. They just better make it to the East Coast by tomorrow. I looked around the room, and I felt no attachment to this place.
