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I stared at the message and shook my head. Ni was pissin’ me off. She wanted me to cuss her dumb ass out.

Me: Go find somebody else to play wit’, Niema.

Ni: You don’t have to be so defensive.

Me: Fuck off my line.

I silenced her messages, grabbed my water, and headed back to my room. As I walked toward the elevator, I thought my eyes were playin’ tricks on me. The closer I got, the more I knew it was Juicy. She had on a pair of short-ass shorts and a pullover, walking fast as hell. I slowed down so I could see where she was goin’. She walked toward the front desk, ass bouncin’ wit’ every step she took. She had her curls pinned up like she was in the middle of gettin’ ready. If I stood and watched her longer, I was gon’ make her talk to me, and I had already promised myself I wouldn’t do that. I glanced at her one more time before I slid into the elevator behind one of the hotel staff.

Back in my room, I showered again and called room service. When my food arrived, I sat at the table and tried to eat. The food wasn’t nasty; I just couldn’t stomach nothin’ right then. If I couldn’t talk to nobody else, I knew I could talk to Granny. I checked the time, and it was a little after 11:00 a.m., which meant it was after 9:00 p.m. back home. Janette was like a vampire, though. She stayed up late, smokin’ weed, watchin’ her shows and shit, so I knew she’d be up. I hit her contact, and she answered on the second ring.

“What’s wrong, JuMarion?” she said, wide awake.

“I don’t know, Granny.”

She was definitely smokin’, ’cause she started chokin’ and shit. “Whew, shit! Grandson, yo’ daddy gave me some shit yesterday. I don’t think I ever been this high. Hold on. Let me sip this damn water.”

I chuckled, listenin’ to her shuffle around.

“Alright, I’m back. Now what the fuck is botherin’ you? I don’t want to hear no bullshit either. I know you out there with Juicy. What happened?”

“I want her… But I can’t have her,” I admitted.

“Why the hell not? Break up wit’ that annoyin’ ass girl and whoop Juicy’s boyfriend’s ass. That’s how yo’ granddaddy got me. That’s how yo’ daddy got yo’ mama, too. He ain’t tell you?”

“Granny, what the hell?” I laughed, fallin’ back in my seat. “You think that’s gon’ work on Juicy?”

“I don’t know, but shit, it won’t hurt to try.”

I stared at the wall, ’cause I wished it was that simple. Emery had some weight on him. I saw that nigga do his lil’ shit on the court wit’ niggas, but he wasn’t fuckin’ wit me.

“If it was that easy, I woulda put my foot in that nigga’s chest, Granny. But I ain’t tryna hurt Juicy like that. It’s been a long time. I left, and I ain’t reached out ’til I asked her to be my agent.”

“Baby, you sound scared to me. What are you afraid of? Rejection?” She chuckled, then coughed once. “I ain’t one of them grannies that lie and say I don’t be in my kids and grandkids’ business, ’cause I ain’t got no shame. When I saw Juicy at Kroger wit’ her sister, she looked just as sad and scared as you sound. Y’all are bein’ miserable by choice. So, get your girl back and stop cryin’ to me, or leave her alone and be wit’ Noxema.”

“Noxema, Granny? You cold for that. But it’s complicated.”

Granny got quiet, but I knew what she was over there doin’. Takin’ notes so she could pray for me when she wasn’t high. She said God would strike her down if she asked for anything under the influence. I wish I could tell her and Juicy the truth without puttin’ them in danger. If I could choose, Juicy would be somewhere happy as hell, paintin’ pretty ass pictures all day, if that’s what she wanted. The only woman I ever pictured buildin’ a life with was Juicy. That was before Ambrose decided what my life was gon’ be.

“Promise me one thing, Juvie,” Granny said.

“You can get anything, lady.”

“Oh, I know. I got a list for you too. But I want you to promise me that when the time comes, you’ll do what your heart tells you to do. Fuck bein’ scared. I don’t care how complicated it is… Go after what you want. You know I’ve always loved Juicy, and I know she’s the one for you. Mercedes knew. Your bald-headed ass daddy knows, too. Don’t let life and love pass you by.”

I closed my eyes, picturin’ what that life could look like, and it made my fuckin’ chest hurt.

“I promise, Granny. I love you.”

“And I love you. When you get home, come see me. I need you to move some shit to my garage. You know I’m redecorating that sunroom.”

“I got you.”

“Alright, baby.”

I let Granny hang up and sat wit’ what she said. No matter how I felt, I needed to get my shit together. I couldn’t keep livin’ in my head, thinkin’ about everything I wanted but couldn’t have. Granny made it sound easy, but she didn’t know half the shit I was dealin’ wit’. If she did, she’d understand why lovin’ Juicy wasn’t as simple as goin’ after her.

My phone vibrated in my hand.