Page 44

‘What do you want me to tell you?’

‘The truth.’ Evelyn took a breath and steeled herself for Lizzie’s response.

‘You do whatever you need to. You go home, you hug your daughter, you cry, and you work on making the best memories you can in what time you’ve got left. You make these last few months special. You make them matter.’

‘But it’s not long enough. And it’s not fair. It’s not supposed to be like this. No parent is supposed to watch their child die.’

‘I know. It’s the worst thing anyone can ever go through.’ There were tears in her eyes as she placed her hand over one of Evelyn’s. ‘But I promise you, you won’t go through this alone. Whatever happens, we’ll make sure you have every bit of support you need.’

Evelyn nodded numbly, not knowing what to say. Not that there were any words which could help.

Jake yelped and snatched his hand away from the mixing bowl as his mum rapped the spoon against the back of his knuckles. ‘I’ve told you before, stick your fingers in my cake mix at your peril.’

‘I know, but your cake mix tastes so good I can’t resist.’

Julie laughed at her son as she dolloped the mix into a baking tin and handed him the bowl to lick out, as if he was a kid again. ‘It’s not that I mind the early morning visit – you’re always welcome here – but why are you here? It’s rare to see you this early in the week. Is everything all right at the surgery?’

‘Yeah, it’s fine.’ Jake sat down at the table, and placed the bowl in front of him after giving it a few cursory swipes.

‘So what’s going on? Is it something I can help with?’ She placed two steaming mugs in front of them.

Jake fidgeted with his for a moment before taking a deep breath and letting the words tumble out in a rush. ‘When do you think it’s too early to tell someone that you love them?’

Julie froze, her cup in mid-air. ‘I think your dad and I first said that to each other a month or so after we started seeing each other.’

‘Only a month?’

His mum chuckled at the memory. ‘Things were a little different when your father and I first started “stepping out”. I take it this is about Linda’s daughter?’

‘Yes.’

‘And you’re sure about this? She’s a lovely, lovely girl but with everything going on with her daughter, there’s a lot to consider.’

‘I know, Mum. And I’m sure. I think I love her. Them.’ He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. ‘I felt like my heart stopped for a few seconds when I heard Summer had passed out. I find myself thinking about them all the time. How I can make them smile, events I can plan, ways I can help. I see something that makes me smile, or sad, and I want to tell Evelyn. And when a client brought in a litter of puppies for their first inoculations, I actually asked if I could take a picture so I could tell Summer all about them because I knew she’d love to hear about them. I was going to take Evelyn to Nick’s gala next week.’

‘You’re introducing her to Nick?’ Julie understood how much that meant.

‘Yes. I was. And I wanted to bring them to one of your Sunday lunches. I was going to ask you about it before everything happened.’

‘Wow. You’re really serious about her.’

‘Them, Mum. I’m serious about them.’

‘Eeeee!’ She clapped her hands together gleefully. ‘My baby’s in love. I’m so pleased for you, darling.’ She jumped up and gave him a huge hug. ‘Now we just need to get that precious little girl better again, so everyone can have the happy ever after they deserve.’

Hours later, Evelyn sat at the roundabout into Broclington with her foot poised over the clutch. She couldn’t remember huge swathes of the drive home and just followed the satnav, turning when it instructed her to turn, and stopping for a break when she needed to. She hadn’t remembered feeling tired, or hungry, or thirsty or anything. There wasn’t any feeling that could penetrate the desperate sadness and pain lodged in her chest. She didn’t know how she was supposed to go home and face her mum or Summer because she had no idea how to tell them about her day, or the contents of the papers that Lizzie pressed into her hands as she’d left. How was she supposed to tell Summer she was going to die? The words didn’t even make sense to her, so how could she possibly explain them to her daughter?

A set of headlights pulling up behind her, and the quick beep of the horn snapped her back into the present. Without thinking about it, she flicked on her indicator and turned left. A few minutes later, gravel crunched under her tyres as she pulled into the car park of Badger’s Hospital. Despite the late hour, and the closed blinds, she could see the lights were still on. As she fired off a quick text to her mum, Jake opened the door and waved.

‘Hey.’ He placed a kiss on her cheek as she pushed past him into the surgery. ‘I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight. How are you? How’s Summer?’

Evelyn bit her lip. Of course he would ask that. Perfect bloody gentleman that he was. But she’d had more than enough conversation that day, and couldn’t bear the thought of trying to explain everything, so instead she pasted on a bright smile and turned to face him. ‘Is there any chance we can just not talk?’

‘What do you mean?’ Confusion crossed his face as she stepped towards him. ‘Are you all right?’

‘I mean, can we just not talk?’ She ignored the second question, and instead stood on tiptoes to kiss him. ‘Just don’t say anything. Please.’ She kissed him again, pressing herself against his chest.

He kissed her back, gently at first, then with increasing intensity that matched her own growing hunger. This was what she needed – to feel whole and alive again even if it was just for a few moments. She dragged at his shirt, yanking it out from his jeans, needing to feel the warmth of his skin against hers. He hissed as her cold fingers hit his stomach and traced underneath his shirt upwards to his chest, and down again to wrestle with his jeans.