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‘You hiding a dead body in there?’ he teased.
‘Might be less awkward,’ Mia muttered, just loud enough for him to hear.
‘You realise now I really, really want to know what you’ve got in there?’
She huffed and folded her arms across her chest. ‘I’m doing some health talks tomorrow, and have supplies already packed.’
‘OK.’ He couldn’t understand why leaflets would make her defensive. ‘Open up?’
Mia clicked the button and screwed her eyes tightly shut.
When the tailgate lifted, and Aiden saw the carefully stacked clear boxes, he had to bite his tongue so hard he was surprised he didn’t taste blood. But he suspected laughing would get him a Katie-style smack. ‘So, umm… when you said “health talks”, you meant sexual health. Contraception and… things.’
‘Yep.’
‘Which is why you have a year’s supply of condoms in here, and a veritable rainbow of dildos. And… bananas?’
‘They’re not dildos. They’re anatomically correct, informative demonstration models.’
‘And the bananas?’
‘Plas-dicks are expensive. Bananas work fine.’
He raised an eyebrow.
‘As models so teenagers can learn proper prophylactic use.’
‘You go into classrooms and teach boys how to cover up using these… what?’
‘Plas-dicks… plastic dicks. Yes. And youth clubs. Teaching them about safe sex is preferable to having to invite them to antenatal courses when they’re still kids themselves.’
‘OK.’ Aiden shifted the boxes. ‘Wow. OK. So if the other things were plas-dicks, then these are…?’
‘My female models. Used to demonstrate Femidoms, dental barriers, cups and sponges. And, obviously, smear tests, correct tampon use, menstrual health.’
‘Obviously.’ Aiden nodded, not telling Mia how he’d have felt if someone looking like her had rocked up with boxes full of props to talk about sex when he was at school.
‘They’re important lessons, and not so awkward as you’d think. After a few sessions, you’ve heard pretty much all the jokes.’
‘Yeah, I bet you always get one joker telling you he’s bigger than your models and condoms wouldn’t fit.’
Mia looked him square in the eye. ‘That was you, wasn’t it?’
‘Maybe. I could be an idiot as a kid.’
‘And I’d’ve shot you down the same way I do now. You’d be surprised how far up my leg I can get a condom.’
‘What?’
‘You know, putting it on like a sock. Shuts up teenage boys and leaves a lasting impression on the girls. No one attending my class will ever be taken in by the “I’m too big to wear one” excuse.’
Aiden lifted out the jack and spare wheel. ‘For the record, I might have been the class idiot, but I’ve never been enough of a plas-dick to use that line.’
Mia’s smile was bright and sunny. ‘For the record, I never thought you would have been.’
It didn’t take long to get the wheel replaced – or for Mia to cancel the recovery vehicle, and for them both to reload her car. When they were done, she handed him a packet of baby wipes.
‘Did you want your biscuits back before I finish them?’
