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Chapter 13

Manchester, March 1983

Shauna looked at the piece of paper in her hand and checked the address at the top of the page against the plate on the wall at the entrance of the building. As the rain lashed down on them, she squinted at the lettering, trying to make out if it was a match, then nodded. ‘This is it: the Next Step Agency.’

‘Are you sure it’s the right place?’ Roxy asked anxiously, her shoulders huddled up to her neck, trying to stop the rainwater from trickling down the inside of her raincoat, but without much success.

‘Yes, it says so on the letter.’

‘Do we really want to do this?’

‘Let’s go inside. No sense hanging around in this miserable weather. It will only make things worse.’

They climbed the two flights of stairs to a shabby landing covered with threadbare grey carpet. There was only one door, and the two of them hovered in front of it, peering through the glass panel at a woman seated at a small desk. Her mousy hair was tied up in a bun and she was chatting animatedly on the phone. When she caught sight of them through the glass, she ended her call and beckoned them in.

‘Here goes,’ Roxy said and went in first, followed by Shauna.

‘Hello, ladies, isn’t the weather shocking!’ she said in a heavy Northern accent. ‘Been raining cats and dogs for days – it’s a wonder we haven’t all floated away down the canal!’ She laughed and her eyes crinkled up at the sides behind her glasses. ‘Now what can I do for you two?’

The girls looked at each other and Shauna handed the woman the letter. ‘It’s all in here.’

The woman took the letter and read over its contents. ‘Ah, I see. Which one of you is the addressee?’ she asked, lowering her voice confidentially and looking them up and down.

Roxy hesitated, ‘Um … it’s—’

‘Both of us,’ Shauna leapt in.

The woman glanced from one to the other in confusion. ‘I’m not sure I understand.’

‘Look, we just want to go in together, you know …’

The woman seemed to consider this for a moment and then nodded. ‘Of course, it’s good to have a friend, isn’t it. Why don’t you both take a seat in the waiting area and someone will be out to see you shortly.’

They did as they were told and sat next to each other on low armchairs that had seen better days. The woman got up and made her way to an office door, knocked once, then disappeared inside for a few minutes. When she returned, she announced, ‘Sandra will just be a few minutes, she’s with another client.’

Shauna took off her flared trench coat. Outside, the Manchester rain made it feel as if it was still winter, but now they were sitting in the airless waiting room she was finding it unbearably hot and stuffy.

Roxy looked around at the blank walls. ‘You’d think they’d put a few pictures up the wall, wouldn’t you – brighten it up a bit.’

‘Most people who come here probably aren’t worried about the décor,’ Shauna replied.

They sat there for a few more moments, Roxy tapping her foot impatiently. Shauna touched her knee. ‘Hey, just try to relax.’

‘I can’t help it. I keep hoping this is all a bad dream and in a minute, I’ll wake up.’

‘Me too. But we’re here now, we might as well see this woman. It’s not like we have to sign anything right away, is it?’

‘I hope not.’ Roxy reached out for Shauna’s hand and squeezed it tightly. ‘Honestly, Shauna, I think we should go. I meant what I told you: I can do this.’

Shauna gave her friend’s hand a squeeze in return. ‘Roxy, we’ve talked about this so many times. It would mean you’d have to give everything up. Your studies, all the work you’ve put in, all that would go to waste.’

‘I don’t care. You know I don’t.’

‘But I do.’ There were tears in Shauna’s eyes. ‘Please … You’d be putting your whole future at risk. I know you’d be willing to give it all up – you’ve got a big heart and that’s what makes you such a wonderful person – but it’s too much of a sacrifice.’

Roxy was crying now, hot tears splashing down her cheeks. ‘Shauna, I know what you’re saying makes sense, but it all seems so unfair.’

Shauna took a tissue out of her pocket and handed it to Roxy. ‘Dry those tears. We’ve got to be brave. Otherwise we’ll never get through this.’