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"Why did she do that?" She walks slowly toward the door like the proximity might help the situation.
"I think she's nervous about the activation. I took her to breakfast to celebrate her big day, and she was kind of off the whole time. Distracted. Then she asked to play at the park before we had to head over to meet my mom and stepdad for the appointment."
I drag a hand down my face.
"I knew we shouldn't, but—I don't know. Today's the start of a whole new chapter, and I think I just wanted one more moment in our current one, ya know?"
I let out a breath, shaking my head.
"She was acting strange and asking a lot of questions. But when she said she insisted on coming up to use the bathroom before the playground, I should have known something was up."
The line in her forehead deepens.
"The tire swing was open," I add quietly.
She closes the rest of the distance to the door and tries the handle herself.
It rattles uselessly.
Lenny presses her palm flat against the wood, knocking twice—harder this time, the kind meant to send a vibration through it.
Nothing.
Her eyes drop to the thin line beneath the door. "What was she asking?"
I shift my weight, already feeling worse the longer the silence stretches. "Stuff about the appointment. Things we've talked about already. If it would hurt. If it would feel weird. If she'd still be allowed to sign."
Lenny's expression softens a fraction. "She's scared."
My stomach sinks. "I know."
Her hand slides down the door as she presses her mouth into a straight line. "You don't have a key?"
I shake my head, more pissed at myself than actually answering her question. "I never thought I'd need one." My tone is full of frustration, and Lenny notices.
"Hey." She walks over to me and places her palm against my cheek. "It's not your fault."
My eyes sink shut. "I don't know what else to do. And we have like thirty minutes until she's supposed to be in audiology."
She pulls back, looking at the knob again. "What have you tried so far?"
I exhale, dropping my hands to my hips. "Not much, honestly. I mean… What am I supposed to do? I've knocked a hundred times—even tried pounding on the other side of the wall in case she was sitting against it. I've wiggled my fingers under the door—nothing. I was gonna order cookies or something next if you didn't answer so I could waft the smell underneath."
"You think your mom would be able to help?"
"No," I say quickly. "I don't want to worry her. This is just as big for them as it is for V."
Her face softens like she understands, but it only makes it worse.
"Fuck, Lenny, I was supposed to make this easier for everyone. I thought I was helping—making things special—but—"
"Wait," she cuts in. "You said cookies."
I tilt my chin down. "Okay, you've always had a sweet tooth, but honestly, babe… it's not the time."
She purses her lips, pausing before she leaps toward the door. "I'll be right back."
"Wait, what?"