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"Hey." Dylan nudges her shoulder into mine. "It's a good thing, Len. I never tried the whole travel nursing thing. I left Ashford and came right here. I was already so used to bouncing around that settling into something right away felt good—smart." She inhales a deep breath. "But sometimes I wish I would have explored the world on my own terms first. Really seen places rather than being dragged through them."
I offer her a soft smile. "Well, don't beat yourself up too much. It looks like maybe you had the right idea after all."
Dylan stares straight ahead for another second, then blinks away her thoughts and looks at me. "No, yeah. You're probably right." She clears her throat and grins. "So, what options do we have?"
I stand slowly, leaning my hip beside her. "I don't know. I guess I have to call Kent back and see what he says."
The next words form and before I can stop myself, they come pouring out.
"There's a version of myself here that I just don't want to lose, Dyl," I admit. "One that finally feels… steady, ya know?" I exhale slowly, shaking my head. "I think for the first time in years staying feels like a choice—not a curse. And it's one I really really wish I could make."
Dylan's mouth twists to the side, her voice softening. "Have you told Jace what you're thinking?"
I sigh. "Not yet. I was waiting to see what Kent said. As much as I want to skip Alaska, I can't be jobless either."
Dylan nods like she already knew that was coming. "Yeah," she says gently anyway. "That's fair."
Silence settles between us for a beat—just long enough for the weight of it to land back on my shoulders. The beeping of monitors, the squeak of sneakers against the floor, the distant call light down the hall—surround me again
The ER.
Real life.
The one that doesn't pause just because mine feels like it's slowly tipping off its axis.
I glance down at the phone sitting beside my paperwork quickly like if I don't look at it directly, Alaska will just… disappear.
But it won't.
Dylan follows my gaze. "You're gonna have to call him back."
I swallow hard. "I know."
She stands there nibbling at her bottom lip. "You wanna do it now?" she asks. "Or should we keep spiraling for another twelve hours?"
I huff out a quiet laugh. "You're so supportive. Truly."
She shrugs. "It's one of my best qualities."
I stare at the phone a second longer, then reach for it before I can talk myself out of it. Grabbing her arm, I drag us both into the nearest supply closet, my thumb already hovering over Kent's name.
"This feels fitting," Dylan says, falling into the tight space as I click the door shut behind us.
I brace my hand on the metal shelf against the wall, my eyes flicking back and forth between her and the phone.
It feels bigger than it should—a simple phone call.
Except it's not. Not really.
Not when the result is either locking myself into the plan I made months ago… or admitting I don't want it anymore without anything solid to replace it.
Jace and I are good. Grown. Even better than we were back then if I'm honest. But I'm not just staying for him anymore. I'm staying for that version of myself I was talking about with Dylan. The one who, thanks to him—and admittedly, being close to home—has learned to love and forgive myself enough to finally stop running.
But I can't survive on love or acceptance.
And I can't lose the life I thought I built for myself—not again.
"Okay," I mutter.