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Jane understood the baseball life. Being traded or released and changing teams was part of baseball. There were no guarantees. Players, managers, coaches all created their lives around that. You changed teams, you moved, you bought a new house, and your family came with you. Baseball was your life. But the bakery was her life. I wanted to find a way for us to be together and for her to still have her dream. There had to be a way.

“I know we were supposed to be a short-term thing, something that ended when I left Red Rock. But you mean a lot to me. I don’t want us to end this way. I want to be able to FaceTime you and tell you about the game, or how things are going. I want you to tell me about how busy you are, about the bridezilla who expects miracles on a shoestring budget. About how Ethan is doing at baseball camp, and how his travel team does this fall. When the season ends, I’ll come back.” As soon as I said it, I knew it was true. I wanted to build my life, and I wanted Jane to be at the heart of it. We could make this work.

She sighed. “For how long? Even if your season ends after only one hundred sixty-two games, you’d be in Red Rock for four months before you had to report for spring training. Then you’re gone for eight months. It’s hard enough when you’re on a road trip half the season, but you’d be in Vancouver half the time, and on the road the rest. If Vancouver cuts you and you sign with someone else next season? You’re even farther away. How do we make it work?”

She sounded so fatalistic, and that crushed me. I wasn’t willing to give up on her, on us. The flight from Calgary to Vancouver was barely an hour. We wouldn’t be that far apart if I was in Vancouver. “We’d figure it out. You could make Emily the bakery manager. I could fly you out to see me sometimes⁠—”

“When? During the season it’s going to be hard for me to get away. I have to consider Ethan. What if he gets drafted next year and decides not to go to college? Then I have to try to fit in seeing him play, seeing you play, running my bakery. If I promote Emily to manager and hire others to work for her, why even bother having it? I opened that bakery because it’s my passion. I love to bake, I love to see people enjoying my creations. I don’t want to run a commercial bakery where I have no input. I want to run my hometown bakery that everyone knows they can count on.”

I understood everything she was saying, but there had to be a way. Every roadblock she listed, we could tackle it together and find a solution, a compromise. I didn’t have a lot of time to convince her. We had hit the outskirts of Calgary, and even with traffic, we would reach the airport soon.

It was time to play my last card, be completely vulnerable and admit what I’d been denying for weeks. I gripped the steering wheel to keep my hands from shaking as I took the biggest risk of my life.

“I love you.”

Chapter 37

Jane

I sucked in a breath, trying to clear the ringing in my ears. This wasn’t happening. Carter did not love me. It didn’t matter that I loved him too. We were never going to work. I couldn’t be what he needed me to be. I wasn’t ready to give up my life for someone else.

“Carter, no,” I said softly, trying to be kind. “This wasn’t part of our deal.”

The pain that flashed in his eyes almost made me take it all back. “You can’t tell me we’re just friends. I know I mean more to you than that. Maybe it’s not love yet, but it could be. Give us a chance.”

I couldn’t tell him the truth. If I told him how I felt, my sending him away would only be more painful for him. He didn’t deserve that. “I care about you so much, but I can’t be a baseball player’s girlfriend again. My life is in Red Rock, not following you all over the league while you’re chasing a ring. I’m sorry.”

My heart was breaking, but I had to be strong. I saw our future as clearly as if it had already happened. It would start with regular calls and texts, just like we had all summer, but with him never getting back here, they would dwindle. Maybe he would come home after the season, move in with me for a few months. I’d be busy running the bakery, and before we knew it, he would be off to Arizona for spring training. We might be able to survive the next few months apart, but eight straight months next season was too much. He’d resent me not being able to come to more games. I’d resent him for never being home and for wishing I would give up my life. I couldn’t do it, and at the same time, I would never ask him to give up playing ball for me.

My throat was thick, and I fought back tears as Carter pulled into the drop-off zone at Departures. He stopped and handed me his keys.

“I have to go, but we need to talk more. We can make this work, I know we can. Don’t give up on us,” he pleaded.

Every word was making this harder, and I didn’t know how much more I could handle before I broke down. I was trying to be strong, but it was so hard. “Who should I call about making sure you get your things?”

“Call Wally, he’ll know what to do.”

He reached for me, pulling me into an awkward embrace. He leaned in to kiss me, and I was selfish enough to want one more memory with him. I wasn’t ready for our time to be over, but I had to let him go. I kissed him back, pouring every emotion I was feeling into the connection: love, grief, loss.

The driver behind us honked, bringing us both back to reality. He exited the Jeep and got his bag while I switched to the driver’s seat.

He stretched through the open window. “I’ll call you when I get to Vancouver.”

A tear tracked down my cheek as I shook my head. “Please don’t. Not tonight. I’ll call you when I’m ready. You should talk to Ethan, though. He’ll want to hear all about Vancouver.”

I forced a smile. I had to be strong, to put some time and space between us, but I didn’t want Ethan to lose his connection with Carter.

“I’ll text him when I land. And I’ll be waiting for your call.” The car behind us honked again, and he backed away from the Jeep. I pulled away, watching him in the rearview mirror until he disappeared into the terminal.

I pulled into a parking lot before I left the city, giving in and ugly crying until no more tears would come. What had I done? I loved Carter. And according to him, he felt the same way. But I didn’t see a future for us that made sense. I’d sacrificed too much for Chad’s career. Red Rock was my home, and my bakery was taking off. I was achieving all my goals.

I started the Jeep and pulled onto the highway home, a few stray tears still trickling down my face. Hurting him destroyed me, especially when I asked him not to call me. I would call him, eventually. When everything hurt a little less, and I could put on a believable brave face.

Brooke’s car was in the driveway when I pulled up, and I tried to pull myself together before she saw me, but there was no hiding my red, swollen eyes. My head was pounding and my heart was breaking, and the last thing I wanted to do was to explain to her about Carter.

I trudged up to the house, entering through the kitchen door. I stopped long enough to grab some ice water to rehydrate after all my crying. Maybe I could make it upstairs without running into Brooke. I was rounding the corner to the stairs when I saw her coming down. Busted.

“Mom? What’s wrong? You’ve been crying. Where’s Carter? I saw you pull up in his Jeep, but he wasn’t with you.” The words came rapid-fire.