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I did it.

The truth screams out of me. My throat shreds, the cry tearing from somewhere deep in my soul. From a memory I had locked away, and now that it’s out, I don’t think I can put it back.

“What happened?”

“She was in the building, and I barely got her out in time.”

Distantly, I recognize Drake’s and Carver’s voices, but their presence isn’t enough to force the visions away.

My parent’s terrified faces flit through my mind.

Blue flames crawl over the walls.

Addy’s screams batter my eardrums.

My chest rips open. I gasp in pain. I killed my parents.

No.

No, no, no. All this time, I thought it was either demons or some random act of violence. Anything would have been better than this. Than this truth that drives into me like a stake.

My palms slam into the earth again and again and again. Dirt flies up around me, raining down and coating my skin.

I did it.

I claw at my chest.

Skin too hot, too tight.

They’re gone and it’s my fault.

Blood trickles from the split flesh as I scratch at it over and over.

Addy is missing because of me. I claw at my skin, seeking the organ that keeps me alive. Maybe if I can dig it out, I can eradicate the memory. I spent years wondering where they were, and now I’d happily lose them again.

“Raina, please! Stop, stop, stop!” Addy’s voice, coated in fright, burrows into my heart.

My chest aches so terribly, I can’t stand it. With trembling hands, I draw a knife.

It’ll be faster with a blade.

Someone knocks the dagger from my hands.

“No!” I crawl toward it, but arms band around me and pull me back. My nails drag along the dirt and grass, desperately trying to find purchase, but I’m not strong enough. I’m hauled back against a strong chest.

I fight the hold, bucking and screaming and fighting to be free. “No, no, no,” I beg the Goddess, face hot, wet. It can’t be true. Please, it can’t.

“Raina, what have you done?”

My throat burns like it’s on fire. Like I’m choking on the same smoke that took my parents from me. “Make it stop.” I grasp my hair, tugging and yanking the strands.

“Raina!”

My fault.

My throat constricts at the sound of my own name. I don’t deserve to live. The Goddess should have taken me instead.

What have you done?