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“I found and told the truth,” I said, then added bitterly, “even if Jim J is still out there. Even if it was for nothing in the end.”

“Not for nothing, baby,” John said kindly, lifting the spoon to my lips. “We may not know how they’ll pick up the pieces…but they deserved to know anyway. And Jim J may still be out there…but it doesn’t cancel out what you did. You were incredibly brave.”

I swallowed the broth, thinking of my father’s scent, his voice, the way he moved—in perfect sync with my memory of him. More vivid, even, than those old memories.

“It didn’t feel like a dream,” I murmured, and my voice was raw, an open wound. “Do you think…I mean—”

John paused, waiting for me to finish. I took a moment, feeling foolish as I wrung my hands in the blanket.

“Do you think it was real?”

He lifted another spoonful to my mouth. “Did it feel real to you?”

I nodded, my throat constricting.

“Then does it matter?” he asked, his amber eyes shining. “There’s plenty in this world we can’t explain. That doesn’t mean it isn’t real. It just means we don’t understand it yet.”

A tear slipped down my cheek. “I suppose so.”

We reached the bottom of the bowl. John set it down and kissed my forehead.

“Your father lives in you, sweetheart,” he murmured, touching my cheek. “Just like with my grandparents. They live every day in what we do and how we treat the people we love. And after what you did at the Delta…you don’t have to do anything more to honour him. You do it just by being you.”

It was impossible to convey how his words made me feel, so I settled for kissing him until he insisted on changing my dressing so I could rest more.

Chapter 36

Claire

Recovery was slow, painful, and exhausting over the next couple days. I slept most of the time, but every time I awoke, John was there, feeding me more broth or changing my bandages or holding my hand through the pain. Most of the time, I appreciated his constant presence and care…but I still didn’t like peeing into a pot. Because I had no appetite, I was surviving on water and more of the goose broth, which meant I had to pee often.

“Can’t I just go outside?” I complained, as John retrieved the pot from under the bed.

“And just how would you do that?” he asked patiently, offering me his hand. “You’ve still got a tube sticking out of you.”

He helped me readjust so that I could sit right on the edge of the bed while he held the pot between my legs.

“Can’t Kimmy do this?” I asked, grimacing.

“Why? I’m already here.”

“Because…” My cheeks were hot with embarrassment. “It’s gross.”

John’s soft chuckle warmed me. “Hate to break it to you, baby, but I know that you piss, just like everyone else. Besides, on the list of gross things I’ve seen, this doesn’t even make the top fifty. It’s fine.”

That made me feel a little better—mostly because, living on a farm, I knew he was being truthful—but I still hesitated. “Can we never speak of this again once I’m better?”

“I’ll take it to the grave,” he said, amused.

The chest tube removal on the fourth day after we’d arrived was horrible, even with pain medicine. I cursed at Leo and Kimmy loudly as John tried to placate me with gentle touch and soft words of comfort and encouragement. Kimmy sutured up the wound while Leo supervised, offering occasional guidance. When it was done, John helped me back into bed, careful not to tug at my stitches, and gave me a sweet kiss that, in spite of everything, warmed me to the tips of my toes.

“Can we bring her home tomorrow?” John asked Leo, who was monitoring me closely following the procedure.

“If you must,” he replied with a sigh. “If she’s on horseback, you’ll have to take it very slow. You can’t jostle her too roughly. You could reopen the wound or aggravate the internal injury to her lung. Walking is the only acceptable pace.”

After he left, I asked, “Do we need to leave in a hurry?”

John shot Kimmy a conflicted look that she mirrored, which concerned me. I didn’t know what they had done to get Asha to help me, and I’d been either too ill or too tired to ask until that moment. It suddenly seemed incredibly naïve to think that it had come without a price.