Page 3

“Fine,” I sighed, sitting up again to drink from the flask. The truth was, I was even dumber than Kimmy said, because I had a near-full one clipped to my belt. I just forgot to drink from it.

Once she was satisfied that I was drinking, my sister got up and started dressing the deer carcass herself. It was bloody work, but we were used to it.

“What’s wrong with you?” Kimmy asked, not done scolding. “It’s hot, and you need to stay hydrated and take breaks. You work on a farm, for God’s sake. You know better.”

She was right, and in the past, I never would’ve been so stupid. I had no real defence, other than that my mind was so consumed with worry and rage and missing Claire that I didn’t have room for the trivial stuff, like survival.

I sighed again and sipped my water. “I know. Sorry.”

“You’re pushing yourself way too hard,” Kimmy continued as she removed the animal’s guts. “Every day, you’re up at sunrise and you stay up until you physically can’t move. You barely eat or drink. You’re not taking care of yourself.”

“I don’t care.” It was the basic truth.

“Clearly,” she said. “And just what do you think dying of heatstroke does to help us, hmm? Claire—”

I flinched at the sound of her name. “Don’t.”

Kimmy’s nostrils flared, and she kept going without a hint of sympathy. “Claire wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself. She’s where she is right now because she saved you. And dying out here would be a piss-poor way to repay her.”

“Enough,” I snapped, getting to my feet. “If you think I don’t feel like shit every single time I remember that fact, you’re wrong. I already said I was sorry. I have enough on my mind without you tearing me a new asshole just because I got distracted and forgot to hydrate.”

I stalked off toward our tent, but not before Kimmy said at my back, “That’s not what it’s about, and you know it. It’s about you giving up.”

“I haven’t given up,” I retorted, whirling back around to face her.

But Kimmy’s expression wasn’t severe anymore. It was sad, and somehow that was way worse.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” she said, gentler now. “Whether we’ll get her back or not. But if we don’t—”

“We will,” I cut in. “There’s no other option.”

Her eyes stayed sad. “But if we don’t…you’re going to have to find a way to live without her, John.”

The words stabbed me like a knife, and the pain that I’d been holding back these last two weeks was suddenly all-consuming. Pressure built behind my eyes, and I was horrified by the sound that clawed its way out of me—something between a cry and a whimper. My knees went weak, and my ears started ringing.

“It’s been two weeks.” I hated how shaky my voice was.

“I know,” Kimmy said, taking a step toward me. “But we’re no closer to finding a way to get to her, and having seen the place, I don’t…”

She trailed off, and I didn’t bother waiting for her to finish. I turned on my heel and walked away, with no idea where I was going. I just needed to get away from the grief closing in around me, and from Kimmy, or it was going to eat me alive.

I heard Kimmy jog after me, sensed her about to grab my arm.

“John, I’m—”

I squeezed my eyes shut and moved out of her reach.

“Don’t touch me,” I said in a deathly whisper.

She hesitated, and I took the opportunity to leave, to get lost in the woods once again.

Chapter 2

John

Iwalked for over an hour, taking long draws from my flask to steady myself and prevent passing out. I knew if it happened again, I wouldn’t get up.

She’s right, I told myself. March told you nothing other than that Claire’s this Sole Survivor, which doesn’t help you.