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Christ. I did my best to hold it together as Kimmy went on.
“She can’t take deep breaths because the tension could cause her other lung to collapse, too. But that puts her at risk for pneumonia. If we were home…”
She paused and rubbed her weary eyes. “I could insert a chest tube to drain any blood and relieve pressure on the lung—let it expand again. I’ve never done it before, but others back home have. I assisted Granny with it once, and I’ve read about it.”
“Okay, so do that,” I said, but my gut told me there was more.
Kimmy paced in a circle. “I don’t have the things I’d need. The Delta has been starving the White Rose of medical supplies on purpose. We don’t have much more than the basics, and now adding civilian casualties into the mix…there’s not enough to go around. And without a sterile environment, the risk of infection is high.”
Dread was creeping up on me, but I tried to problem-solve.
“We head back home, then,” I said. “Bring her to the clinic, and then let her rest at home. She’ll be more comfortable there anyway.”
“The problem is whether she can survive the trip,” Kimmy answered, chewing her lip again. “It’s three days on horseback.”
“Ghost can make it in two, if I push her hard.”
She sighed. “Even so, Claire can’t ride. The bouncing motion on horseback is dangerous for her injury.”
“So, what then, Kim?” I demanded, temper flaring. “What are you telling me? That there’s no hope? That I have to sit here and watch her die?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying,” she shot back, hands on her hips. “I’m doing my best to come up with something to help her. You are not the only person that loves her, John, so fuck right off with that bullshit.”
I went from angry to devastated again. My emotions were all over the place. I was a hot mess.
“I did this to her,” I said brokenly. “I went too hard with the CPR. It’s my fault.”
Kimmy shook her head like she had whiplash, but quickly recovered.
“No, you saved her life,” she replied firmly, hands on her hips. “It’s normal for ribs to break when CPR is performed right. Puncturing her lung in the process was just bad luck. If you hadn’t gone as hard as you did, she might be dead already.” She touched my shoulder. “Now, let me look at you.”
We went back into the exam room, and Kimmy cut my shirt off to examine the stab wound. As I thought, the bleeding had mostly stopped, and I just needed stitches. She said I’d successfully gotten my shoulder back in place, and there was nothing else to do except wait for it to heal on its own. It ached, but I couldn’t care much. Claire was the main concern.
I sat next to Claire’s stretcher, wincing as the needle poked through my skin. Kimmy had nimble fingers and had given me stitches more times than I cared to remember, but I still hated the way it felt.
“Y’okay?” Claire whispered. She couldn’t do much more; she constantly sounded breathless.
I lifted her hand and pressed kisses against her knuckles. “I’m fine, sweetheart. Nothing I haven’t had before.”
“What’s—” She stopped for a brief, painful-sounding cough. “What’s gonna happen?”
Kimmy paused her stitches briefly, and I knew she felt torn. We had to pick the best of a bunch of bad options. Nothing we could do now would be recommended by any decent doctor.
I didn’t know what to say, so I just said, “We’re going home.”
A few hours later, Ayanna visited us in the field hospital. Claire had been moved to the floor like everyone else, but at least I could give her my bedroll to sleep on. Her broken wrist was bound tightly with bandages, and Kimmy had fashioned a sling for her. I’d made her as comfortable as I could, but it wasn’t enough. Her breaths were still rapid and short, and she was in obvious pain. There weren’t enough painkillers to go around, so she wasn’t getting enough, and they had no way to treat her beyond that.
The only upside had been that Gizzi had visited and finally disabled the tracking beacon on Claire’s implant. They would never be able to follow her again, and that at least gave me some peace of mind.
“Hey,” Ayanna said softly, seeing that Claire was asleep. I sat next to her, legs crossed, watching her chest rise and fall. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come earlier.”
“S’alright,” I murmured, not really looking at her. I was afraid that if I took my eyes off my wife for more than a second at a time, she’d suddenly stop breathing again. “It’s been chaos.”
Ayanna nodded and sat down on Claire’s opposite side. She looked tired and covered in the sweat and blood of battle, a few stray strands of hair sticking to her forehead. A beat passed before she said, “I’m sorry about Claire’s injury. Kimmy told me she needs more help than we can give. Like so many civilians here.”
I nodded, my throat thick. “Can you free the hospital?”
Ayanna sighed. “Probably. But not fast enough to help her.”