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She nodded grudgingly.

“Then maybe…” I paused, my brain not working properly. “Maybe it was always him. Maybe it’s not about you.”

Kimmy made a disgruntled noise. “That doesn’t excuse what she did.”

I shook my head. “Obviously not. But it’s not about you because you’re an amazing person and partner. You didn’t do anything wrong. Asha’s just fucked up, and if this guy is fucked up too—which, let’s be real, he gives that vibe—then maybe they just deserve each other.”

Kimmy’s eyes filled with tears, and I rubbed my tired eyes, worried that I’d hurt her feelings somehow. My body ached with exhaustion, and it was making it hard to think clearly.

“Thank you,” she said softly, touching my hand. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be unloading on you right now. I’m going to get some food. I’ll bring you some, okay?”

I nodded, and after she left, I lay my hand over Claire’s on top of the covers. It was going to be another long night; I could feel it.

Chapter 34

Claire

Sunlight warmed the sand beneath my feet.

I stood on the beach that John had brought me to for our honeymoon, looking out over crystalline waters. The sun was low in the sky—not quite sunset yet, but close. Red streaks had begun to snake across the blue, and the lake was calm. Peaceful.

That was what I felt, more than anything: peace. I was warm, and free, and complete. I felt finished, as if I had nothing more to do, no dreams to fulfill. I had no doubts, no fears, no thoughts. I simply was.

“Ah,” said a familiar voice. “I thought I might find you here.”

A tall figure with flaming red hair approached. He stood by my side, dressed in his officer uniform, and stared out over the water with me. Although I hadn’t seen my father in fifteen years, I would’ve recognized him anywhere. Somehow, I wasn’t surprised to see him. I’d been expecting it.

“You’re dead,” I said without emotion—a simple statement of fact.

“I’m afraid so,” he replied with a good-natured chuckle. “They may have unlocked a way to live forever, but the power to wake the dead remains a mystery, even to our greatest minds.”

He smelled like I remembered: like old books, and watercolours, and clean, pressed clothes. I shut my eyes, inhaling the bittersweet memory of him. A somber silence passed before I broke it by saying, “I did it. Found the truth, about you and everyone else.”

His green eyes, so like mine, softened. I really was his spitting image.

“I know.”

“And I told them,” I said, a lump forming in my throat. “They knew what happened to you, in the end. I did what you would’ve wanted.”

My father lay his hands on my shoulders and turned me to face him. When I met his eye, I couldn’t help it: tears overflowed, and a soft sob escaped my lips.

“Ah, Claire,” he sighed, catching a tear on his fingertips. “My brave, brilliant girl. How proud I am of you.”

“Okay, now I really am going to cry,” I said with a mirthless laugh, and he chuckled again, in that same warm, lovely way I remembered. “Why did you do it?”

Somehow, he understood what I meant. He gave me a meaningful look.

“You know why,” he murmured, his eyes sad.

“Because you were too damn noble for your own good,” I burst out. “Except for when it came to me, and Holly, and leaving us alone with our mother. You knew what she was like, and you still went ahead with your plan and fell on your sword and left us. Left me. I needed you.”

My father sighed. “I know. I made many mistakes in my life, darling, but I can’t regret them. If I’d never married your mother, I would’ve never had you. And if I’d never taken on Omega—if I’d taken their dark secret to the grave—I wouldn’t be the kind of father you deserved. One who stood for what was right, even when it cost me everything.”

“But you’d be the kind of father who’d still be here,” I said ruefully, and he laughed again.

“I suppose so,” he said, “but what would you think of me, if I’d gone along with it? Would you have held me close to your heart all these years, if you learned how I’d betrayed everyone—you included—so completely? It would be the opposite of everything I ever taught you. Everything I told you would’ve been a lie.”

I swiped at my tears and took my time before speaking again.