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The Orphans

Page 34

by Fiona McIntosh

‘I’m different now, though, Dad, aren’t I?’ She hoped he’d confirm that she was.

‘My word, yes. As much as we admired your self-assurance, your mother and I used to worry whether your confidence would isolate you, that and your somewhat dismissive attitude at times.’

Fleur laughed. ‘It did, Dad. I didn’t know how to control it then but I’m better at it now. And I don’t believe I’m dismissive.’

‘No, my dear, that was probably the wrong word. You don’t suffer fools easily, but you see, fools often present as ordinary people with the kind of questions or outlooks that most share. And people like you, who already know the answer or don’t necessarily share their view of the world, need to find tolerance.’

‘I hope I have.’

‘Well, you’re certainly much better at disguising your disdain when it erupts.’ He gave her an affectionate smile, rare these days. ‘It’s not a criticism, just an observation. We all have our prickly bits. I wish you could be more patient with Irma, for instance.’

‘I wish I could too,’ Fleur answered, remaining neutral.

‘I would have an easier, less irritated life and wife if you were.’

‘Do you love her, Dad? I’m sorry to repeat the query.’

He looked at her in soft pain. ‘I’ve never thought about it,’ he said, looking embarrassed, and she knew that was an admission of truth.

‘But you loved my mother. I know it.’

‘That I did. But there was only one Mae Appleby, and I accepted that a long time ago.’ He shook off his recollections. ‘Do you know why this road is so wide, Fleur?’ He took out his gold Hunter watch – a wedding gift from Mae – and flicked open the lid to reveal the large white porcelain face behind its glass. ‘Getting late,’ he murmured.

She did know why the road was so wide; he’d told her this a couple of times previously. Was her father getting old, or suffering dementia? ‘Tell me,’ she said, not wishing to tarnish the pleasant moment or bring the conversation to an end yet.

‘The plan was to make this a canal. Can you believe that?’ He glanced her way and she could see his face was filled with animated pleasure. He was surely losing his memory. ‘So they dug out this wide channel, the idea being that all the goods going to and from the port could be barged into and out of the city. A masterstroke.’

‘But it didn’t happen,’ Fleur said gently.

He shook his head. ‘Big plans. Too big, probably.’

‘But it’s still brilliant, Dad. All these shops do well, and the new trolley buses are coming.’

‘Yes. Still, I just love the idea it might have been a waterway – such a grand vision.’

‘I have a grand vision,’ she said, surprised at herself for leaping in so blatantly.

‘Do you, my girl?’

‘You know I’ve been wanting to have this conversation, so let’s have it now while we’re alone.’

He nodded, looking trapped. ‘All right. Tell me what you’re thinking.’

‘I think women are kept out of this industry . . . deliberately.’

‘Not by me!’ he said, sounding injured.

‘No, you’re nothing short of a trailblazer,’ Fleur complimented him. ‘My mother wanted this for us too, didn’t she? She always encouraged me to keep my interest in your work and, even though I was adopted, she used to say I was my father’s daughter through and through, showing knowledge far beyond that of other undertakers’ sons.’

‘She was on the money, Fleur. You’ve been nothing but exemplary in this field, and I truly applaud your committed studies into the human body and its physiology.’

‘Even so, it doesn’t matter how qualified or exemplary I am – your colleagues don’t want women in the funeral business, Dad. I don’t know what you all discuss at the Freemasons Hall or in the pub, but they seem to be so suspicious of the notion of women working in undertaking.’

‘Women are too emotional, Fleur.’

‘Really? Have I ever been so emotional as to compromise your position, or even a single client? I have never lost my calm or wept in the presence of your clients or their loved ones.’

‘No, I can’t say you have. But you are rather overly connected to children. You get yourself in a private state over how you want them prepared, and you spend so much extra time on their coffins.’