Page 120
She couldn’t think of that. She needed to learn how to banish that memory… for Danjel’s sake.
And now there was a funeral to organise and decisions to be made. For the first time in her adult life, Valentina was entirely in control of her own future.
She let her mind wander as she watched pairs of young lovers stroll by, and older married couples, arms linked, taking in the air. No one bothered her. Perhaps word had not reached many people yet. She considered her complicity in Lawrenz’s death and the guilt that felt like a creature within. She’d tipped off the Marseille Police in the hope that it might curb Lawrenz’s ways, perhaps even earning him a short prison sentence to give her more time alone with her son. She had not, of course, anticipated that her actions might lead to his death. She needed to forgive herself, though, because Lawrenz’s life could have taken so many different paths – all bad.
‘Valentina?’ She turned to see Peter walking towards her. ‘I thought I’d find you here. I went by the house. The police are still there, with Robertu. But they looked like they were finishing up. I wanted to catch you before he came to find you, as he told me he planned to.’
They regarded each other awkwardly. He was as beautiful in reality as he’d been in her daydreams and she thought again about how impossible it seemed that he was here in Malta, wanting to be with her. And yet he seemed so vulnerable now.
It felt strange to be the one with all the power.
She’d been toying with decisions for days, but after today’s events, her mind was made up. There was no going back now. ‘How are you?’ she asked.
He gave a sound of despair. ‘In some shock. I can’t imagine how you must feel. And Danjel. I am worried about him—’
‘Don’t say it,’ she pleaded.
He took a breath. ‘Valentina,’ he began, as though resetting his thoughts, ‘there’s something important I need to say… to ask…’
At that precise moment, Robertu arrived, calling out to her. ‘I knew I’d find you here,’ he said. ‘Hello again,’ he said to Peter, who was frowning at the interruption. ‘Er, the police have gone. I’ve given them everything they asked for, including the keys to the warehouse.’
‘Thank you, Robertu. Did Inspector Vella say anything?’
‘Only that he hopes to release Lawrenz’s body for burial in the coming days.’ He looked between them. ‘He is closing the investigation.’
She looked at Peter and they both sighed.
‘That’s a relief,’ she said.
‘Well, you had nothing to answer for, anyway,’ Robertu continued.
She couldn’t look at Peter in that moment, feeling guilty.
‘Where’s the boy?’
‘With Maria. He’s going to need some help coming to terms with what he witnessed. How are you doing, Robertu?’ she asked.
He moved his head from side to side. ‘I feel tormented, if I’m being honest. I know Lawrenz and I didn’t really get on, but I never said goodbye, I never told him how frustrated he made me, or that I loved him in my own way… or that I have loved his wife to distraction since long before you were married.’
The emotion in his words hit Valentina like a boulder, and she swallowed hard as Peter reeled back, turning to stare at Robertu.
‘What did you say?’ Peter asked, his voice thin.
‘I’m sorry, Valentina,’ Robertu said. ‘I can’t keep the secret any longer. His death has released my great burden and now I feel we’re free to—’
‘To what, Robertu?’ she said coldly. She felt furious with him for his indiscretion.
‘Well to, you know… be together.’
‘What?’ Peter said. He was looking between the two of them intently, still frowning.
She held up her hand to quieten him. ‘Robertu,’ she said, stepping forward to take his hand. ‘We are never going to be together. This was always in your mind. It was your hope, your dream. It was not mine.’ She had moved into Maltese; it was important he hear this in his own language.
‘But you said you wished it was me,’ Robertu said, looking horrified.
‘No, you’re twisting what you heard. You know that we were speaking hypothetically. I said I wished that if I had to marry a Falzon, it was you instead of him, because we were friends and you were always kind to me.’
‘And now?’