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He grinned. ‘Exactly. Ivy is this creeping plant, and it has covered the front and sides of the house. I love it. But I was miserable all the same because of who I found myself sharing it with… and the man I became there.’
‘Do you and Delia have children?’ Valentina asked.
‘No,’ he said, sounding relieved. ‘That’s the one thing we did get right.’ At her look of dismay he explained. ‘I don’t mean it like that. I wanted children very much – we both did – but I’m glad now that we didn’t have any, because that would have been a reason to go on living our unhappy lives, to keep the family together.’
She nodded in understanding. Without Danjel, she might have tried escaping Lawrenz. ‘So this opportunity to visit Malta again came at just the right time?’
‘Precisely,’ he said. ‘It’s done me a world of good already. Caught myself whistling this morning while I shaved. That hasn’t happened in a very long time.’ He paused. ‘I get the impression that you don’t whistle much either,’ he said gently, watching her face.
She paused. He’d been honest with her. She needed to be the same. He’d been her first real grown-up friend and she hadn’t had one since. She took a breath. ‘My husband and I struggle together.’
‘Oh,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Actually, I hate him.’
He looked alarmed. ‘That’s a strong word.’
‘It’s a strong feeling,’ she replied. ‘I despise Lawrenz, but then I always have. I knew it would be like this. Do you remember me telling you I was worried about marrying him?’
Peter nodded, and she could see it was all coming back to him. ‘How does he feel about you?’
‘It’s hard to say, but I think the word in English is contemptuous. I looked it up once, and I think it describes his attitude to me most of the time.’
He swallowed. ‘And the rest of the time?’
‘Neutral, I suppose. Or like he is pretending at being a real family. The only single good thing we’ve achieved in our marriage is Danjel.’
‘And you got married when you were young?’
She nodded. ‘Yes. Only a few months after you left. I had no say in it.’
‘I’m so sorry, Valentina.’
She shrugged, then looked at him. ‘I used to blame you in the early days.’
‘Me?’ He sounded astonished.
‘Yes. You just left me to my fate. I used to think if only you’d taken me with you, I could have escaped all the pain.’
‘Taken you with me? Valentina,’ he said, with soft despair. ‘You were fifteen!’
‘Almost sixteen,’ she said, smiling at the old joke. ‘I’m not saying I blame you now,’ she said, ‘but back then my thoughts were understandably childish.’
‘And now?’
Valentina sighed. ‘I still wish you had taken me with you.’
He looked back at her slack-jawed. ‘You’re joking.’
She shook her head. ‘You could have saved us both a bad marriage.’
TWENTY-ONE
Valentina had invited Peter for supper, suggesting he come around at six thirty that evening.
It was curious how as a woman, Valentina was considered good for only a handful of domestic duties, including her role as a mother. And yet the moment Lawrenz was away, she became entirely responsible for running the bar, stocking it, serving patrons and cooking the food.
Today she closed an hour earlier than normal, feeling comfortable doing so given it had been busy, with good takings. Lawrenz would be none the wiser, she thought, but she took the precaution of ringing Robertu to let him know the takings.
