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Before I can say one, he’s already kissing me.

My world begins spinning, his kiss never failing to take my breath away. I wrap my arms around his neck and everyone cheers as my ears buzz.

When our lips finally part, my dad is smiling at us with a glass in his hand, raising it to me.

19

Present Day

It’s still dark outside, the sun just beginning to rise. The sound of rain echoes in my bedroom, the window covered with droplets. I bet all the snow has melted away now, thank goodness.

After my crash, I’ve been bitter toward it. If it weren’t for the inches of snow and steep hill—I would have made it home in one piece. I had something to thank for it at least—it was the perfect ice breaker after my fight with Sean. Pun absolutely intended.

Sean is sitting up with a cup in his hands, looking down at his phone. I love the mess of his morning hair.

“Good morning,” I muster out, my voice raspy.

He glances over his shoulder and smiles, staring at the top of my head.

I’m sure my morning hair doesn’t look as sexy as his.

“Go back to sleep,” he whispers.

“What are doing up so early?”

“The rain woke me. I couldn’t fall back asleep.”

Stretching my arms up high, I sit up, breathing him in. “The rain woke you? You live in Washington. You’re not used to it?”

“I’m a light sleeper,” he quips.

I used to dream of waking up next to him. Now that I’m actually doing it, I’m trying to soak it all in.

I rest my head on his shoulder, looking down at his lap. He leans his head into mine with a sigh.

“What’s on your mind?” I ask. I can feel his supple muscles tense underneath my chin.

He looks as if he might say something but then shuts his mouth and smirks lightly. “I just wanted to watch you sleep,” he finally says.

Romantic doesn’t even cover it. Being with Sean is like a fever dream. I’m afraid I’m going to wake up at any moment.

I kiss him lightly, pulling his head toward me. He sets his mug on the nightstand, leans over, and pulls me close—one hand wrapped around my hips and the other cupping the back of my head. His mouth moves over to my cheek, then grazes my earlobe.

“Ah-ah,” he whispers humorously. “We need to get things ready for the cabin. We have to go shopping. And then we have to spend the weekend with my parents.”

I slam my body backward into the pillows and blankets all crumpled up on the bed, trying to be dramatic. I forgot about his parents. They’re going to the cabin for the weekend, as it’s their New Year's weekend tradition. A family bonding trip except this year, Sean insisted I join.

“Can’t we just stay in bed a little longer?” I plead. I throw a quivering lip his way, but he doesn’t take the bait.

“It’s time for me to get ready for the day. You can sleep some more if you want.” He winks and pecks me quickly.

I look up at the still unfamiliar ceiling. Every night I stare at it, finding different shapes. It’s a helpful tool for falling asleep. One area is shaped like an elephant. Another looks like someone giving a thumbs up.

When Maggie and I were young, we’d do the same thing, except she used to have these glowing stars that she stuck onto the ceiling. We’d play games, pretending we were outside when it was too late to actually be out.

When we could stay out in the summer, we’d roll around in the grass and pretend we were spies. We’d always use the same fake names, and since my grandma and her parents shared a fence, we’d climb over, again and again.

I miss those days, especially now. I wonder how many adults miss their childhood as much as I do. Even a simple act as staring at the ceiling, has me revisiting those moments. I wish I could have my childhood back.