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“Shit.” I’m not sure what that’s in reference to, but I let it hang in the air a while longer. “Yeah. So, I’m sorry for fucking everything up. Mom died, and Dad, well…yeah. I don’t really want to go back there.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

A laugh spills from my lips, but there isn’t an ounce of humor in it.

“I wouldn’t have let you, no matter how hard you tried. I was a mess.”

“Maybe not, but I gave up too easily. A better friend would have⁠—”

“Stop,” I beg. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s all on me. I just want you to know that I’m sorry. And I know this isn’t ideal. I’m probably the last person you want to share the ice with, but I hope that one day, we can maybe rediscover some of those good times we had.”

He stares at me as if I have two heads. Honestly, I might.

I’m not entirely sure where all this is coming from. I certainly wouldn’t have said it all a few months ago. But recently, I’ve found myself reflecting a lot more, questioning the decisions I’ve made that have ultimately landed me here, and I realized I've fucked up. A lot. And the biggest of those involved Kodie.

“Yeah, maybe.” He combs his fingers through his hair. “We’re, uh…going out for drinks tonight. You want to join us?”

My knee-jerk reaction is to say no. But I refuse to listen to that bitter young man who lives inside me. It’s time to start learning from some of those mistakes and finally live my life again. Yes, okay, part of that life will have to continue being in the shadows, but I don’t always have to hide away. I once used to enjoy life and hanging out with my friends and teammates; that can still happen.

“Sure.”

His eyes widen in surprise, but he quickly recovers.

“Cool. I think we’re meeting down at the hotel bar, but I’m not sure what we’re doing after that. I stopped listening.”

A laugh erupts from me.

“Some things never change,” I say, clapping him on the shoulder before letting him walk into the dressing room before me.

I’m one of the first on the bus, ready to head back to our hotel. Aware that no one is around me, I pull my cell from my bag and wake it up.

I have a suspicion of what I might find on here, and I don’t want anyone reading over my shoulder.

My heart thumps against my ribs when his name stares up at me.

But as much as I might want to see what he’s said about tonight’s game, I force myself to open my brother’s message first.

Huxley: Incredible game tonight. So proud of you.

My chest tightens. I might not get to spend as much time with them as I’d like to, but I’ve put every effort into talking to them in a way they deserve. And I love that it’s paying off, because they do the same back to me. It’s such a nice change of pace compared to what we all receive from our father.

Speaking of him…

I ignore his message.

It doesn’t matter that I played my best game in quite some time. He’ll have something to criticize, and I don’t want to read it.

I don’t respond to Huxley; he should be asleep. I’ll message him in the morning.

My heart rate picks up as my thumb hovers over Garrett’s message, a little rush of adrenaline going through me.

I haven’t seen him since we had our do-over at my place, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t spoken.

Because we have. A lot. Or at least, it’s a lot for me.

I’ve never been great at keeping a conversation going with anyone other than my brothers. But just like many things I’m discovering with Garrett, he’s different.

I’m yet to run out of things to say, and I’m not sure how I feel about that. Usually, finding words is an effort I’m not willing to put in. But with him, I’m finding that I can’t stop them from coming.