Page 158
He scoffs, and I hate the bitterness in it. “I didn’t do this,” he confesses. “I didn’t have a choice but to end up here.”
I study him for a few seconds, my eyes bouncing between his.
“You do enjoy it, don’t you? Playing hockey, living the life you do.”
He shrugs, and I hate that his knee-jerk reaction isn’t to say yes.
“It’s all I know. There was no other option for me.”
“There are always options. If you don’t want to do it anymore, you don’t have to.”
“It’s who I am.”
“No, it’s a part of who you are. No one who truly loves you cares whether you play hockey. All they want for you is to be happy.”
“It’s not always that easy, though, is it?”
“No, I guess not,” I say, hating that I’ve brought such a downer on our date. “You played freaking awesome tonight, though,” I add, trying to lighten the mood.
42
COOPER
Despite Garrett changing the subject and focusing on tonight’s game, I struggle to shift the feelings our previous conversation stirred up.
I hate talking about Dad and my past, and how I ended up where I am.
I also hate being forced to really think about my life.
Since the day I was born, I’ve followed the steps that were expected of me. Sure, as a teenager, I pushed back just like everyone does. But I never strayed from hockey. I guess it’s a relief that I’m naturally pretty good at it. I dread to think what would have happened if I struggled with a sport I’d have had no choice but to play.
“Kodie invited me for breakfast,” I suddenly blurt out while Garrett is knee-deep in his game analysis. Usually, I could listen to him talk for hours—he’s cute when he nerds out. But the second that memory hit, the words tumbled free.
“Oh, wow. That’s…huge?”
“Yeah, I could have two breakfast dates in a week at this rate,” I tease.
“See…friends have breakfast.”
“And maybe enemies, too.”
“You’re not enemies,” he counters.
“Maybe not anymore,” I mutter.
“What did he say?”
“Just that he wanted to see if we could figure our shit out.”
“That’s awesome.”
“It’s going to have to come with a lot of apologies from my end.”
“You were a kid going through some stuff. I’m sure he’ll understand,” Garrett assures.
“It’s going to mean talking about things I usually keep to myself.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe it’s time to get it all out in the open and figure out a way to move forward.”
