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‘Great,’ he says. ‘Come on, let’s go. You can pick.’

As we head home, the roar of activity from the pub fades into the distance. The town feels oddly still by comparison, all closed shopfronts, glowing upstairs windows and the distant sound of the sea somewhere beyond the dark rooftops. There will be plenty of other opportunities to have wild nights out but, for tonight, I’ll hang out with Si. I’m sure I owe him that much for giving me a place to live, right?

24

Si’s bedroom is surprisingly nice – for a single man, I guess – decorated with warm colours and a few paintings of colourful landscapes.

The bedside lamps are on, instead of the big light, and the heating is cranked up so it’s lovely and cosy.

We’re sitting on his bed, staring at the large TV on the wall, watching The Shawshank Redemption – well, it’s one of those classics that can draw you in no matter how many times you’ve seen it.

Si and Adam have a TV each, in their own rooms, so this is the only place to watch it. It’s comfortable though, propped up by big, fluffy pillows, eating popcorn and drinking tea – I’ve had enough alcohol already tonight.

‘Thanks for coming home with me, Lia,’ Si pipes up, his eyes still fixed to the screen. ‘I know I probably seem like a bit of a dick, leaving like that. Sometimes… being in my forties and single, it makes me feel like I’ve wasted my life. Like I am getting old, and I’m achieving nothing.’

I look at him, his face lit by the glow of the TV.

‘Hey, I’m not that much younger than you,’ I remind him. ‘And I’m single too. It’s easy to feel like a failure when everyone around you seems to have it all figured out. My parents constantly remind me that Rory is the gold standard with his wife and kids.’

Si raises an eyebrow.

‘Is Rory really that happy, though?’ Si asks. ‘Being married?’

‘Yeah, he is,’ I say with a nod. ‘He loves his wife, and they’re enjoying doing the family thing.’

Si goes quiet, his eyes returning to the screen, but his mind is clearly elsewhere. I want to ask him why he and Rory fell out, but I hold back, because it probably isn’t a good idea to go down that rabbit hole tonight.

‘Sorry for being moody,’ he finally says, forcing a smile. ‘Let’s just watch the movie. No one should talk over a classic.’

‘Agreed,’ I say, trying to lighten the mood, but Si has got me thinking now. Thinking about my own life. Am I letting it slip by? Should I be settled now? Is it as tragic as I think it is, that I’ve managed to get to my thirties without having a steady job, a home, or a partner?

Shit, now it’s all I can think about.

25

I’m woken up by the need to pee – all of the alcohol from last night is begging to leave my bladder. It’s a gloomy day, cold too, but while I could be tempted to lie here for just a little longer (ignoring the need to pee, obviously), I am now realising that I have a problem. A big one. And I’ve no idea what I’m going to do about it.

You see, not only am I learning – right now – that I must have fallen asleep in Si’s bed while we were watching the movie, and as though it weren’t awkward enough, that I’ve been here all night, I appear to have snuggled up to him, draping my arm across his body. I’m wearing my dress but, because it doesn’t have sleeves, my arm has sort of stuck to his shirtless torso. Removing it is going to be like ripping off a plaster.

He’s still asleep; I can tell by his breathing. If I am only just learning that we fell asleep together, what are the chances that he hasn’t realised yet, if he’s still asleep? Perhaps if I can sneak out of here, he’ll never know.

I slowly remove my arm from Si’s body before gently shuffling to the edge of the bed. I finally get to my feet, scanning the dimly lit room for my shoes, before grabbing them and heading for the door.

I have never opened a door so slowly, or gently, in my life. I’m impressing myself – you would think I do this all the time. I pull it shut behind me, allowing it to click shut ever so softly, smiling to myself because I’ve actually pulled it off.

Of course, it’s only when I turn around that I see Adam standing behind me, watching me sneak out of his brother’s bedroom. Shit.

‘Oh my gosh, you scared me,’ I tell him, still whispering, because now I really, really don’t want to wake Si.

‘Sorry,’ he replies. ‘I was just going to the bathroom, so…’

His voice trails off. I don’t think either of us knows what to say.

‘Good night last night?’ I ask him, hoping he returns the question, so that I can tell him this is not what it looks like.

‘I should really…’

He points towards the bathroom door.