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I hope he doesn’t feel like I led him on last night, like I was entertaining leaving Eddy for him, because I wasn’t. I didn’t think I could have Eddy, so yes, I thought about whether or not I could see myself with Jamie, but I couldn’t, because it’s Eddy I want. Always has been, always will be.

Of course, Eddy doesn’t know this, so he’s carrying on as usual.

‘Anyway, have a good evening,’ he tells Jamie. ‘But not too good – we’ve got a match tomorrow.’

‘I’ll be ready, old man, it’s you who needs an early night,’ Jamie replies.

‘And I’ll get one,’ Eddy tells him with a wink.

‘See you later,’ I tell him with a smile, but I can tell he looks hurt, and I feel terrible.

We get into the lift and head upstairs.

Eddy takes me to his room – it’s much bigger than mine, but he is the talent.

I hover by the door.

‘That was a bit mean,’ I say.

‘I didn’t say anything,’ he replies. ‘That’s just our usual point scoring. He was happy to kiss you on the cheek in front of me, to openly flirt with you, like it was all a game.’

And I suppose he did try to steal me last night.

‘I know, it’s just… I don’t know, it seemed okay, when we were faking it, but now…’

‘Yeah, you’re right,’ he agrees. ‘I should rise above it. It’s just, sometimes I think he enjoys it.’

‘I know, and he definitely gives more than he takes, I just think… I want this to all be okay.’

‘Me too,’ he replies.

‘But you two have a World Cup to play, together, and Sol brought me here to smooth out your rivalry, not make it worse, so I think maybe, until the tournament is over, we need to keep things as professional as possible.’

‘Are you having second thoughts?’ he asks.

‘No, not at all,’ I insist. ‘And when you’ve won the World Cup, I’ll be right here waiting for you, and next season, when you sign for Leeds again, I’ll be right there with you.’

He thinks for a moment.

‘Yeah, okay, that makes sense,’ he agrees. ‘And I’ll go easier on Jamie. You’re right, we need to get on the same page for these games.’

‘And this is why you’re amazing,’ I tell him, kissing him.

‘Very professional kiss,’ he teases.

‘I’m very good at my job,’ I reply between kisses. ‘Which is why I’m going to go to bed – my own bed.’

‘You’re sure?’ he checks, grinning at me.

‘I’m sure,’ I reply. ‘But only for now.’

Well, we’ve waited this long, so what’s a little longer, to make things official. But really official this time. It won’t be an adjustment for everyone else, they already think we’re together, but for us this is huge. And I couldn’t be happier.

24

It’s finally here, the day of the warm-up match against Fiji, and things are starting to look up. Suddenly I have this clarity. I know exactly what I want. I want to keep working with the Lions – and England, if they’ll have me once this is over – and I want to find somewhere near Headingley to live, and I want to be with Eddy. That’s it. The only thing that feels like it could get in the way of that, really, is this tournament. If I do good work here, if it all goes well, then I’m going back to the life I want. If I mess it up, some of the pieces of the puzzle might not click into place.

It makes sense, to keep things as professional as possible with Eddy – for now. Yesterday couldn’t have been avoided; we needed it, after weeks of build-up, but also so that we both know where we stand. Now that we know, we just need to keep a lid on it, just until the World Cup is over, so that he can do his job, I can do mine, and we can both hopefully still be employed – at the same place – next year.