Page 20

The drive to the station is only five or ten minutes, but it feels longer. Inside the city feels more alive. People having a good time, in tiny outfits, pouring in and out of clubs and bars. Why does it feel so irritating, to see people so happy, when your own life feels like it has imploded?

I stare out of the window, my hands in my lap to try and keep my elbow as still as possible.

‘Are you okay?’ Eddy asks me eventually.

I let out a long deep breath.

‘I can’t believe he’s been cheating on me,’ I say – because, well, it’s obvious, and I’m not going to be keeping secrets for him any more, am I? ‘I can’t believe she’s been cheating on her husband too. Do you think people know?’

Eddy is quiet for a second.

‘I don’t think so,’ he says. ‘I had no idea. But they’re colleagues. They travel together. Work together. Spend time alone. So none of it looks strange.’

No. It doesn’t. I suppose that’s the point. I suppose affairs don’t look like affairs if you can find other explanations for things, do they?

Still, I feel so stupid. Not because he cheated on me – that’s on him – but because I let myself feel lucky. I thought I had an amazing boyfriend, one who was looking out for me, who I was proud to overhear people talk about. And all this time – for God knows how long – he’s been shagging Trish behind my back.

‘Don’t blame yourself,’ he tells me, reading my mind. ‘This isn’t your fault.’

I sigh. I want to believe that, but it’s hard not to wonder why you weren’t enough for someone.

‘I just feel like an idiot,’ I admit.

‘You’re not. He is.’

The station appears ahead, bright and busy, people hurrying in and out in a way that betrays how late it is. Normally, I love Friday night in Leeds. Tonight I just want to be alone.

‘Can I take you anywhere else?’ he asks as he pulls up.

I shake my head.

‘No. It’s okay – you’ve done so much,’ I insist. ‘I’ll get my bag, and I’ll stay with someone for tonight.’

He looks like he wants to say something, then doesn’t.

‘Okay,’ he says, not pushing me.

‘Thanks,’ I say, unfastening my seat belt. ‘For everything. The lift. The…’

‘You’re welcome,’ he replies. I want to say it though.

‘Thanks for hitting him,’ I say, allowing myself a smile.

‘He deserved it. He hurt you first,’ he points out. ‘No man would stand for that.’

Ron would.

I open the door, then pause for a second.

‘I’ll see you around the office, I guess.’

‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘See you around.’

I climb out and close the door.

For a second, I stand there on the pavement, watching his car pull back out into the traffic. Then I turn towards the station and head inside. It’s pure Friday night chaos, of course.

I make my way towards the desk to retrieve my lost property, and I could cry when they hand over my bag. It feels like the first step towards getting my life back on track. Not that I know where I’m going after this. Not back to Ron’s, that’s all I know for sure. I’ll have to check into a hotel. A cheap one, just for tonight. Maybe for a few nights, I suppose, while I work out what to do. At least I have a job now, and a bit of redundancy money coming, so I can afford to get a room for the night without worrying where my next pay cheque is coming from.