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9

For once, the baby’s whimper at five o’clock in the morning came as a relief.

Jason rolled from his bed, tightened the frayed cord supporting his pyjama pants and reached into the nearby bassinet. At the touch of his hands, Megan fell silent. As Jason picked up his daughter, she smiled at him.

‘I don’t think you’re that hungry, are you?’

Knowing that Shelley was in the house made Jason reluctant to leave his room. He had transferred the bassinet in here last night and closing the door firmly had given him a sense of safety. His own space to consider developments in the company of the things that had become most important to him.

Shelley had simply shrugged when he said he’d keep Megan in his room. ‘I guess you know where all the nappies and bottles are,’ she’d said. ‘We’ll sort all that out tomorrow.’

She might have raised an objection if she’d seen Oscar slipping through the gap before the door closed, but the dog was now part of the family as far as Jason was concerned, and his family needed protection. Laura should have been here as well. Jason eyed the empty bed and scowled.

How could she have packed a bag and deserted him at a time of crisis like this? Maybe he’d been wrong to feel he could trust her with his life. Maybe she wasn’t as strong as he’d thought. The going had got tough and Laura had got going – in the direction of the nearest available exit.

With a deep sigh, Jason climbed back into his bed with Megan still in his arms. He pushed Oscar with his foot to make some more space.

‘You won’t get away with sleeping there when Laura comes home again, mate.’

Except she had gone home, hadn’t she? This wasn’t her home. She’d only been here because of Megan, and now Megan’s mother had returned to lay claim to her baby. No wonder Laura had left. Jason closed his eyes on a wave of misery. He’d been wrong in thinking that Megan might be the ace up his sleeve in his determination to keep Laura in his life on a permanent basis. Perhaps she was the only real draw card and if he lost his daughter then he would lose Laura as well. What did he have to offer apart from his daughter, anyway?

A reputation as a shallow Casanova, that was what. With an excellent specimen of the kind of woman that had populated his past right here in his house at present. He had a career with awkward shift hours that could put pressure on a long-term relationship and a house that he would have trouble affording the whole rent on if he had to support a family. Laura seemed to like the sex but the kind of passion they had been sharing for the last couple of weeks couldn’t last, could it? Jason knew from repeated personal experience that good sex wasn’t nearly enough.

‘You’ve got soggy pants,’ he told Megan. He poked her tummy gently. ‘Do you want some clean ones?’

Megan reached out and caught his forefinger with her hand, still so tiny that his finger looked ridiculously huge. Jason felt his eyes prickle as he watched the little starfish hand curl into a miniature fist with his finger locked firmly in its centre.

Dammit – he’d had no sleep and too much to think about and his physical and mental exhaustion was turning him into a girl.

‘Not that there’s anything wrong with being a girl,’ he said aloud, apologetically. Megan beamed up at him and Jason groaned inwardly.

‘You’re not making this any easier, you know.’ With another sigh, Jason gave in and smiled back.

‘The way I see it, Peanut,’ he continued softly, ‘I haven’t got a chance of getting what I really want out of all this. If I get to keep you, I get your mum in the picture as well, and that’s not going to make Laura very happy. If I don’t get to keep you then I probably won’t get to keep Laura either. And…’ Jason’s voice dropped to a whisper. ‘I really like Laura, you know? She’s warm and funny and kind and very, very clever and…’

Jason’s gaze drifted to the empty side of his bed. Megan’s ears were way too young to hear about how he could never get tired of Laura’s soft, delicious body and the way it responded to his. He’d never go for a skinny chick again. No way.

Hell, he didn’t want to have to even think about going for anyone else.

He wanted Laura. So much that it hurt. Another smile from Megan twisted the knife in his gut. He also loved this tiny person he was holding. A very different kind of love but just as strong in its own way. Or was it so very different? He got the same feeling of responsibility for their health and happiness, the same fierce desire to protect them. Even the disreputable canine currently sprawled over his feet elicited an echo of that feeling. They had all become a family and Jason was learning the hard way that a family was a valuable asset rather than the liability he’d always feared.

A squeak from Megan interrupted the spiral of thoughts Jason had spent the night revisiting.

‘You do need breakfast, don’t you?’ Jason eased his foot out from under Oscar’s rump. ‘And clean pants.’ Pins and needles assaulted his foot as it made contact with the floor. ‘Come on, then, guys.’

It was still dark but the dawn chorus of birdsong could be heard starting up. Jason flicked on a lamp and moved quietly in the dim light as he prepared a bottle, the weight of the baby on one arm a now familiar and easy burden to cope with. It was a little harder to test the temperature of the milk one-handed so Jason waited until he was settled onto one end of the couch.

‘Shh… shh… shh,’ he soothed Megan, whose cries rose demandingly when she caught sight of the bottle as he sprinkled milk on his wrist. ‘Okay, it’s just right. Here you go, sweetheart.’

Megan sucked hungrily, making a contented grunting sound at the same time. Jason watched, letting himself relax for the first time in hours and simply enjoying the moment instead of agonising over the complications his life now contained. Things would sort themselves out somehow.

They had to.

Oscar raised his head from Jason’s foot a minute or two later, floppy black ears pricked forward and the faint rumble of a growl coming from deep within the shaggy chest. Glancing up, Jason felt a rush of adrenaline tightening his muscles and wiping out any sense of relaxation.

‘Hi.’ Shelley was wearing a tiny singlet top with shoestring straps that left her belly and half her breasts exposed. The silk boxer shorts that sat low on her hips did nothing to conceal long, tanned legs. ‘Can I help?’

‘We’re fine, thanks.’ Jason had to clear his throat. There was no denying that Shelley was an extremely attractive young woman. It was all too easy to remember exactly what had led to their fateful night together. It had probably been all too easy for Laura to understand as well, Jason realised. He could only hope that Laura didn’t think he was still attracted to Shelley, at least on anything more than an ‘enjoying the eye candy’ basis.