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She grimaced.

“What is that face?” I chuckled.

“I don’t think we need to move, Dad.”

Piper didn’t know about Chloe’s news, but I knew our time there was limited. We needed to move out before Chloe gave birth. The last thing she needed on top of a new baby was a single dad and his exuberant teen daughter. Along with Piper’s revelation, I knew Chloe’s pregnancy wasn’t mine to share. Still, our gracious landlord needed privacy.

“I do. Chloe wants her space back, I’m sure. It was never permanent, bug.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. But like what sort of hovel are we going to end up in.”

“I’m not going to put us in a hovel. No, it won’t be Chloe’s place. I’m sorry. But it will be ours. I am looking at a few places near school right now.”

“Send me the tours. I don’t want to live in a shitty place.”

“Chloe, I would never. And since I sold Opal, we have more money to float.”

She crossed her arms.

“Not all of it. The bulk majority is in your horse fund.”

“Fine.”

“About that,” I said. “Riley has a lead on a horse. It's coming to the place in Florida and eventually Chicago if it works out. It’s in our price range. I’d like you to look her over when you get back.”

Her lips curled, interested. “What type of horse?”

“A warmblood. Dutch, I think. I don’t know much, but I trust Riley,” I lied. “Does that sound good? She’s green, but has a lot of potential. I trust that you can bring her along and so does Riley.”

Piper raced around the table in excitement. She wrapped her arms around me tight and kissed my cheek.

“Thank you, Dad! Oh my God, really?”

I grinned. “Yes, sweetheart. Don’t despair!”

“It’s a dream!” Piper declared. “Dad, it’s such a dream!”

“You are doing the hard part, bug,” I said. “I am just here cheering you on. You’re going to do amazing things, kiddo.”

I meant every word, but as we settled into our spaetzle, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness. My baby was gone. Every “last” hit me. I never knew something was final until one day she just did something without my help. It was everything I worked for—to raise a good human who made her own choices. I’d raised a proud, well-adjusted child and done so much on my own these past years.

And yet? There was something sad about admitting my time being the most important force in her life had faded. She had friends, a girlfriend, and other coaches. She’d outgrown me. It was exactly what was supposed to happen, but still wounded me unexpectedly.

36. NEVER PUT ASUNDER

CHLOE

As time passed, my ability to move and bend declined substantially. By mid-January, it was as if my core just poofed. I continued riding because it made me happy—even if I no longer mounted from the ground—but it didn’t make it easy. I knew my time astride beloved beasts waned and would be more difficult later. I needed help doing everything the first few months. And on top of that? I’d be raising an infant on my own.

As much as my riding began escaping me, I put off telling my agent and publicist the truth, shooting videos selectively. Unfortunately, my lack of thirst trap posting angered people. When I turned my draft in and set a meeting in New York, I knew I had to come clean. It was time to tell my team the truth, to push back on a tour and publication dates. While it might cost me future deals, I knew being a mom meant hard choices.

The only saving grace in my jaunt north and east was a looming prenatal appointment. Though I worried something terrible was always around the corner, I saw my baby again on screen. Being “geriatric”—a term I fucking loathed—meant extra scans. Today, baby moved and grooved impressively.

“Baby is very awake,” the tech chuckled, taking photos for the specialist overseeing my pregnancy.

Another benefit to being “high risk” was seeing the best OB in the north suburbs.

“I don’t know if I am feeling any movement,” I admitted. “I should by now.”