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“Who caused you pain, baby?” My voice takes on just as much strain as hers.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters,” I press, inching as close as I can.
“I just— I can’t think about it right now. It’s too much. I’ll eat more, I promise.” Her tone is desperate, pleading that I let this go, because this conversation is now the cause of said pain, and it kills me that she doesn’t feel safe enough to open up to me yet.
Looking down at her hands, Fia fiddles uncomfortably.
Holding in every crippling emotion that’s threatening to consume me, I revert our discussion.
“I’ve figured out what I want out of our arrangement.”
“What’s the point if it’s almost over?”
Her reminder comes out sounding bitter, and it seems like she’s saddened by the idea of all this coming to an end.
“It’s important to me.”
Rolling her neck slightly, she rubs her eyes like they itch, but I’m no fool.
“What is it?”
Gone is the torn beauty full of emotion, and in her place is the spunky girl who’s always the source for my fast-beating heart.
“Be mine.”
“Jett, what are you talking about.”
“Be mine, like really mine. No faking it.”
I need to know what it really feels like to have her. To wake up by her, to fuel her when she’s about to perform, to make love to her sweet body until she’s crying into my neck.
To be her protection, regardless of what that looks like, even if it means protecting her from herself.
If I can’t have her after our deal is up, I need to have her fully during the last stop of our arrangement.
“While we’re back home, I want you to be my real girlfriend.”
“How is that supposed to be any different from what we’re doing now?”
“Move in with me.”
I’m pulling shit out of my ass, but I was already in over my head, so I may as well drown. I didn’t even think I needed anything more from all of this until this very moment. Truthfully, being with her in any capacity was enough. Hell, just being her pilot and making sure she gets to each destination safely was enough, but it’s not anymore.
Now that I know how she’s treating herself, how she feels about herself… I can’t go on without at least trying to change it. Without showing her what real love feels like, even if I don’t really understand it myself.
Using our arrangement as leverage is a sly move, but I’ll do whatever it takes.
She scoffs, eyes wide. “I can’t move in with you; I still have a job to do.”
“And you’ll do it. I’ll talk to Haven or Rika. I’ll bet a lot of dancers are staying with family while they’re home.”
“What’s me moving in with you going to do, Jett? Give you free access to fuck me whenever you want?”
In an instant, I’m heated. Placing myself within inches of her face, I grab her neck softly, mimicking the first night my hand found its favorite home on her throat.
“Of course, and I can’t wait to have you mark every inch of both of my homes, but that would be just one of the many benefits. Making you mine means being able to come home after a long day and get a dose of your sexy-as-sin attitude. It means being able to make sure that you’re fully taken care of, since clearly, I’m the only one who gives a shit about that. It’s the opportunity to love you the way I’ve wanted to since the very first time I saw you, but my tainted habits prevented me from being able to go for exactly what I wanted.”