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I shrug. “Ehh, it’s just a little blood.”
“More than a little. It’s a like fucking battlefield.”
Tears threaten to pool in her eyes as she rubs them raw.
“What can I do to make you feel better? Do you need a heating pad? A snack? An orgasm?”
Her eyes flicker to me, and a tremor shakes through them, one that almost mimics fear.
“I just mean— I’m only asking because I heard they helped, that’s all,” I backpedal, unsure what triggered her reaction.
“Just maybe some Tylenol, and a snack for later.”
I rise from the floor with a nod, leaving the period panties I just fetched on the counter beside her.
“Will you be okay here for just a little? I’m going to run to Rad’s and pick some stuff up.”
“Oh, you don’t have to—”
“I want to. Let me.” So much tenderness moves between the walls of this small bathroom. “Please,” I beg, needing to prove to her, and myself, that I can be the man she needs.
“Okay,” she whispers.
“I won’t be long. Everything in this house is yours. Make yourself at home.”
CHAPTER 42
FIA
I utterly despise my period.
Like most women, this time of the month is gruesome, but for me, it’s nothing but a painful reminder. A monthly alert that no matter how hard I try, I’ll always be the girl who was asking for it. That no matter how many times I said no to him, my body screamed yes. No matter how many times I begged him not to touch me, it sounded like a plea of desperation to his sick mind.
I battle with whose fault that night was almost daily. In the back of my head, I know it wasn’t mine, but when I’m low and feel out of chances to give myself, I tend to blame me, me, me.
Tell myself I shouldn’t have worn something so short, or I should’ve said no louder—with more intention.
When the garage door finally closes, I remain rooted in place on the toilet. I’ve done a good job of plowing through life these last two years. Faking it. Making people believe that I was someone I wasn’t, when inside, I was just numb.
At the end of the day, it wouldn’t matter if I liked the person I was becoming; there would always be a version of me I’d never get back.
But with Jett, healing her feels more within reach than ever before.
Looping my feet out of my current panties, I replace them with my period underwear, flinching at the reminder of why I even wear these things in the first place.
Before Jett can get back, I make my way to his room, ravaging for my favorite sweats. Wanting something way bigger than what I own, I tug off my tight cropped T-shirt and replace it with something more oversized.
Something of his.
When I pull it from the drawer and over my head in a hurry, his masculine smell makes everything wrong that’s happening inside my body feel right. Surely, he won’t mind that I’m borrowing a shirt. It’s not like I’m snooping through his things, though it feels weird making myself at home here.
Not because I don’t like it. If anything, I’m apprehensive to get comfortable here because of how much I do.
Before closing the drawer, my eye catches a small piece of paper in the corner.
Unable to help myself, I pluck the sheer-looking slip, careful not to tear the thin material. I unravel it to confirm further what I know I’m looking at. I don’t have tattoos, but I’ve spent many drunken nights in tattoo shops.
Holding the sketch at a distance, the clarity seems to be fading the longer it sits in the dark, humid corner, but it’s still clear enough to make out.