Page 167
“I’m not the type of man who should be raising a young boy. I like women, sex, parties, money. I’m a greedy bastard. Even at my old age, I still can’t seem to bury my demons. It was already bad enough that I passed my DNA to you; I couldn’t influence you too.”
Clearly, you didn’t have to. Your genes were enough.
The head I have on my shoulders is purely Parker. The morals I’ve learned, the kindness I’ve been craving to find; it’s all because of James and Priscilla Parker. But the real evil that’s taken over my adulthood, the fast life that sucked me in, that’s hereditary.
I didn’t learn that; I was born with it.
“I knew James and Priscilla were actively adopting. They had Greenway Grove in the palm of their hands. They’re the heartbeat of our small town, and I’m just the brutal shark of the city. I dropped you off at a local church three nights after you showed up on my doorstep—I knew they were on the board there; they’d get the call before anyone. I tried, but even in three days, I knew I couldn’t give you the life I wanted you to have. But I always thought about you, Jett. I was watching.”
“And my mom? Where is she?”
I don’t think at this point that it would make any difference to know where she is, especially since before he gave me up, she did. But still, my curiosity is childlike.
“I’m not sure. We met in Columbia; she was on a girls’ trip. It was a one-time thing. Apart from the night we spent and when she left you at my door, I never saw her again.”
I nod, feeling like I have to conjure up some sort of response to ensure I’m listening, but I’ve lost all feeling in my body.
I don’t know what I expected by finding this all out—closure, maybe. But with a shock value this high, I don’t know where to place my emotions.
“Well, thanks for meeting me,” I say, sounding fake as hell.
I feel numb. I asked for this, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. I don’t know what I expected, but I definitely didn’t think I’d come out of this hearing how little he thought about me, and how disgustingly similar my worst qualities are to his.
“For the record, I wanted to tell you.”
Sensing my detachment, he brings me back just slightly, but his words only add to my anger.
“So why didn’t you?” I practically growl, full of rage.
The man in front of me has watched my basketball games, came to family fundraisers, was practically the sole reason Greenway Airlines got the funding it needed to be the legacy it’s become. The legacy that will one day be given to me and my brothers.
He had all the time in the world to tell me.
Thirty-one fucking years.
“I told him not to,” my dad answers for him.
For the first time, my eyes cloud. When I face him, his throat clears to stop whatever he’s keeping at bay from crawling out, but his love for me slaps me from across the table.
“You knew?”
“Yes, we made the connection when you were five. We were in too close of circles for me to not know, but you are my son, and it was my responsibility to protect you from everything. Until you decided for yourself, I was protecting your heart from this.”
I don’t fault my father. He would do anything he could to protect us. I know his intentions, but I can’t help but feel betrayed by this discovery.
“I supported his decision,” Mr. Holland echoes, feeling the need to get words in somewhere.
Of course he supported his decision. More time to himself.
“I’m still a learning man, Jett, but I want to know you. Want to spend time with you, show up for you, man to man. I’d like to be a part of your life, if you’ll let me.”
He sounds sincere, but he’s a professional bluffer. My ears begin to ring, everything piling on me like bricks. I don’t know what I expected after this. I’m not sure how I want to continue.
“Can I think about it?”
“Of course.”
Tremors flow from my fingers as I raise my drink to my lips for a final sip.