Page 17

Today’s the day.

Since being cast, I’ve thought about what this day would feel like. Talked myself in and out of going a hundred times. In the end, all the hard work I’ve put in, the time I’ve given Haven, dedication to dance over the last twenty-seven years, trumped the coping routine I’ve grown comfortable with.

“I’m only a phone call away, and I can’t wait to see you when you come back to Nashville. You know I love an excuse to see live music.”

Dipping my chin, I take the last gulp of my strawberry matcha latte, downing it until there’s nothing left but rattling ice.

“Promise to try to text every day?” she asks wearily.

“Of course.”

When the waiter finally comes around for the last time, I order two blueberry bagels to go and snatch the bill before my best friend can.

“See you in a few months?” I say once I’m at my car. Sienna scuffs her sneakers on the pavement, her hands shoved into her baggy jeans pockets as we drag out our goodbye.

Stepping into my space, her arms wrap around my neck in a warm hug, as she says sweetly into my hair, “I’ll be waiting. Go kill it.”

“Got everything you need, honey?” My dad’s voice echoes through my phone speaker as it rests on my small coffee table.

“I, ugh…I think so,” I grunt.

I push all one hundred sixty pounds of me onto my luggage. It takes every ounce of power in my body to close the damn thing.

“You sure? Doesn’t sound promising,” Dad jokes.

“Ha, funny. You, out of all people, should know how hard it is to pack a year into one suitcase.”

After college, my parents took being empty nesters seriously. The first flight to Paris they could catch, they were on it, and every year since, they’ve spent maybe three months here in Tennessee.

I miss them, but I think a part of me always has.

They were great parents. We wanted for nothing, were fed, clothed, and nurtured as kids should be. But it was just that. No overly loving connection or a relationship that could transfer into a friendship upon adulthood. I think a part of me has longed for that my whole life, and maybe that’s why I always went searching for companionship.

They raised two beautiful, brilliant, self-sufficient young ladies. My sister, Sam, lives in Vegas. She’s the marketing manager for the Las Vegas Stingers basketball team. At thirty-five, she’s worlds ahead of me. Even growing up, I looked up to her. But having a sister eight years older never really formed the connection that other siblings close in age usually get.

Safe to say, our family was just four people living together. Nothing less, nothing more—though I wanted more.

“Your mother and I have got it down to a science. Next time, call your old man for some pointers.”

Clicking my phone off speaker, I glue it to my ear while making sure the rest of my apartment is put back together.

“You said you got someone to sublease your apartment for the year, right, petite danseuse?”

My mom’s silky voice chimes in on the other end. Three years in Paris, and she’s already got French nicknames for us all.

“Yes, they move in on Saturday.”

Thankful for the flexibility my apartment was willing to give, I’m subleasing to one of Vic’s friends who just moved to the city.

“Merveilleux. Love you, sweetheart. Have the best time. Your father and I will do our best to get to your Nashville show.”

A trickle of sadness lingers, even if I try to have low expectations for everyone.

“You guys have fun too. Love you,” I manage to get out with no emotion.

Once I’ve cleared my apartment, I take one last look at my cozy home.

I’ll miss you.