Page 176

Pondering the fight happening behind his eyes, my stomach swarms. Look at us. Two broken, shielded souls, trying to go against the wave when all it wants to do is sweep us under.

“Why can’t you?” I pretend to protect myself with a masked confidence.

Breathing like he’s inhaling fire, Jett’s pupils widen as he looks into the distance, then back to me.

“I’m mad, Fia. I’m so fucking mad. I’m confused—conflicted by the choices I’ve made versus the ones that may just be within me. I don’t even recognize myself. I’ve never felt like this, and I just need to process. I’m full of rage, and there’s no escape I’d rather have than losing myself in your body, but I can’t promise I’ll be gentle, not right now.”

I can take it. If he can take me as I am, so will I.

Jett’s mask falls with mine, and we’re left bare beneath the city lights.

I wait, unsure of what he really means, but not needing to understand it fully.

I know what carrying weight feels like.

With a straightened spine, I face him with nothing but bravery.

“So don’t be.”

CHAPTER 52

JETT

“Sofia, please, just go back to bed.”

I hadn’t predicted my night to end in anger. After I saw Fia at the club, the reality I’d just come face to face with felt irrelevant. Nothing was more meaningful than the real thing that kept my life afloat.

But when I saw how distressed seeing that asshole outside of the club made her, every ounce of fury I had came back with a vengeance.

It made me think of my father. He was an asshole like that, and I hated that it made me question whether I was one too.

“I can take whatever you give me,” she purrs, her voice thick with lust.

“Turn around and go to bed, please,” I beg.

It makes no sense. I want to protect her, to keep her safe from everything in the world that could possibly hurt her, yet at the same time, I feel an overwhelming urge to take everything out on her body. I couldn’t hurt her, not with what she’s been through, but more than anything, I want to get lost in her, release whatever this is I’m feeling.

“No,” she clips.

“Sofia,” I warn, spinning her so she takes my spot, forcing her back to the edge of the balcony.

The wind swirls as a much-needed air replacement for what’s being stolen between us.

“No,” she insists, her sparkly green eyes glowing under the light.

Her defiance makes all of this feel so attainable. I grind my molars at her resistance and have to palm the front of my pants to control my bulge.

“You don’t have to talk to me, but you can’t stop me from helping you take the pain away. Let me be what you need.”

I roll my neck, eyes on the sky.

“Fia, you’re everything I need. You being here is enough,” I lie. I need her, but I’d never forgive myself if I was another bad memory.

“You need more than that.” Her hand trails up chest, past my face, curving around the nape of my neck.

“You don’t deserve what I can give you right now.”

“But you do.”