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Together, Fia and I explode one final time. Her pussy clenches around my length, hot ropes of my cum shooting inside her, not letting up as every second of this love we’ve been chasing ends together.
Both our chests heave as I stay inside her, unmoving until I have to.
Grabbing her chin within my fingers, I force her to look at me, the same way I always have, and whisper, “More than anything, you know I do too, right? More than anything.”
I feel like I’m speaking in code. Desperate for her to at least understand what I feel but too overwhelmed to express myself right now.
With a single nod, and a tear from each eye, she croaks, “I know. I’ve always known.”
Since her confession, Fia has been hard to read—I’m sure I have too. After we cleaned up, we fell into a silent routine of packing out bags, but I stopped quite some time ago.
“Feels weird to be going back,” she says awkwardly.
“Yeah,” I answer, finding a spot at the corner of my bed.
“How are you feeling from earlier?” she asks, and I know it’s me who’s the fucked-up one if she just saw her abuser for the first time in two years and she’s asking me if I’m okay.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”
She slips into the spot between my legs, rubbing the nape of my neck.
“Maybe, but I’m feeling fine right now, and you clearly aren’t.”
“I don’t know why it hits so hard,” I tell her, looking down at my feet. “It’s not like I’ve really let him into my life. I just can’t shake the fact that he’s been here all along, watching me as I grew up, and until know, I had no idea how much of a monster he is. Does that make me one too?”
Gripping my head in her hands, she forces me to look at her.
“You are nothing like him.”
“But—”
“Look at me, Jett.”
I finally do, and I feel my throat thicken.
“You are the man he wishes he could’ve been, the man he tried so hard to become and couldn’t even breech the surface. You think he’s feeling like shit right now, feeling overwhelmed with emotions because of his actions? No, but you are, because your heart is world bigger than his. You are allowed to hurt, you deserve to feel everything, but don’t you dare think that just because you’re kin to him that you have to be some version of him.”
Tears pool in my eyes before my blink allows them to fall, and just like I do with her, Fia’s there to catch each one.
“Would you be mad if I took a few extra days just to think?”
Her breath catches in her throat, and I see questions all over her face.
“Does that mean you want to br—”
“No. I don’t want to break up. I just want to take a few extra days to have some space… Is that okay with you?”
Her glassy eyes blink at a rapid speed as she nods an approval.
“Whatever you need,” she whispers, and I wrap her in my arms one last time before letting her go.
After what felt like the longest goodbye, we finally agreed to calling Raul for her to stay with Sienna before she leaves tomorrow morning.
Now, it’s one a.m., and I’m stuck staring out at the same skylight that has watched me sin many times.
Trying to find the words to tell my brother, I write and delete the message I’m trying to send him too many times. Constantly battling with myself on whether or not this is the right choice.
Get the fuck over yourself, Jett. This is what’s best for both of you.