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“An old voice inside of me wants to tell you to run and never look back,” I say.
Ezra makes a pained sound. Pepper’s mouth tightens.
I lean forward. “But I’m going to tell you the truth, which is that I want you to stay so badly I can barely breathe.”
Her anger falters into something more fragile.
“The Saints know an old access point. Your name is on a route tied to whatever they’re watching. Ezra is fading. My bond with him was made out of love, but also fear. Your friend sees that our bond is fractured. All of that is true.” I open my hands. “So if you need to leave, I will take you home. If you need Honey or Scarlet to come get you, I won’t stand in your way. If you need time to process without me in the room, I’ll stand outside as long as you need.” My voice nearly breaks. “I won’t make you stay.”
Pepper’s eyes fill slowly. Tears gather, bright and furious, until they spill down her cheeks. “If we’re confessing, then I need you to know I don’t want to be useful instead of wanted.”
The words land like an arrow to the chest, pointed and piercing.
“I know you’re grateful that I affect Ezra,” she continues. “I know you’re desperate enough to be grateful for anything that helps him. I understand that, Theo. I do. But I can’t be the omega who gets folded into your bond because my scent helps him, or because my last name is carved into a marker none of us understand.” Her voice trembles, then steadies. “I want to be chosen. I want to be courted. I want to be wanted when I’m not solving anything.”
Ezra’s hand tightens around hers. I leave the chair and kneel in front of her, stopping before my knees touch her feet.
“I am grateful,” I say. “I’m so grateful that since you’ve shown up that I don’t know what to do with it. When you touch him and he gets clearer, it feels like the world gives me back air.”
Ezra sucks in a breath.
“But that isn’t why I want you.” I look at Pepper until the words land where they need to. “I wanted you when you stood at my gate shaking and still told me exactly what you needed. I wanted you when you looked at the house like it was something to befriend. I wanted you when you let your friends love you without pretending you didn’t need it.”
Another tear slips down her cheek. I keep going because she deserves more than comfort and words. She deserves evidence.
“I want the woman who names coolers and wears sentimental orange socks because her mother loved her through a hard day. I want the woman who asks questions when she’s scared instead of letting fear make her mean. I want the woman who makes Ezra laugh like he forgot he was disappearing for a minute.”
My hand curls against my thigh, aching to touch her and waiting for permission. “I want you at breakfast. I want you arguing with plants. I want your scent in my sheets because you choose to sleep there, not because heat or danger pushed you into my bed.”
Pepper’s tears spill faster now.
Ezra’s voice comes warm and quiet. “I also want your stubbornness, your spreadsheets, and your cooler sidekick.”
A wet laugh breaks out of her. “Darwin is his own man,” she says.
“Exactly. And you’re your own person. One we want more of.”
I look at Ezra. His humor is soft, but his eyes are serious when they return to Pepper.
“I won’t lie and say that your stabilizing influence doesn’t matter, because it does. I like being here enough to be greedy about anything that helps. But, Pepper, you make me feel seen even when I’m not visible.”
Pepper presses one hand over her mouth.
Ezra’s smile tilts. “Also, your flirting becomes extremely formal when you panic, and I find that charming.”
“I don’t flirt formally.”
“You once called Theo biologically interesting.”
“That was a valid observation.”
“It was a mating call dressed in a lab coat.”
She laughs again, and this time the sound reaches the corners of the room. The house seems to exhale with her.
I hold out my hand. Pepper looks at it for a long moment before placing hers in mine. Her palm is small, but warm and steady.
“I’m scared,” she says.