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“Not right at this minute,” I said. “But yeah.”

My desire to run as far away as I could from this place was overwhelming. But I wasn’t running, I reminded myself. I truly had work to do. Monsters to hunt.

He nodded, though there was a detached look in his eyes. Again, I couldn’t help but think he looked like a lost boy. Untethered from everything he thought he knew about the world. About his life. Himself.

I could relate.

He looked to the clock on the wall. “I guess I should go too. I’ve got to get to work.”

“Work?” I gaped at him. Of all the places I thought Colton should go, a police station was nowhere near the top of the list.

“Where else should I go?” His tone was sharp, uncharacteristic of the man I knew. Bitter. Haunted. More indicative of the man he’d likely be going forward.

I shrugged, asking myself that same question. I certainly didn’t want to be saddled with helping him deal with this. I was similarly unhinged. It would’ve been like the blind leading the blind.

“Work seems as good a place as any.” I imagined Colton putting on his uniform, going about his day as if nothing ever happened.

But what other choice did he have?

“Your dad is recovering now.” I assumed that he’d been informed of his father’s condition at some point. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he has been released from the hospital. The witch responsible for his curse is dead, so the curse within him is too.”

“Okay.” Colton rubbed the back of his neck, quite obviously trying to swallow all of this information. Witches. Curses.

“It’s going to take a long while to get right with this,” I said with a sigh. “And a lot of booze. And therapy. If you can find a supernatural therapist. The regular kind would have you committed.”

He sucked in a breath, not missing my meaning. I was almost committed. Because of him.

“Hadley—”

I held up my hand. “I know you’re sorry. I know you’re going to crucify yourself with this until your dying day. I won’t add to it.”

I watched his jaw clench, watched him gulp down words, more apologies, none of which would encompass how sorry I knew he was. None of which would fit into a sentence describing how fucked-up this all was.

“You won’t leave again, like you did before?” he asked in a small voice. “I know I have no right to ask for a goodbye, I have no right to ask for anything from you but…”

Fuck. I’d been so sure I had nothing but a blackened husk for a heart and no empathy to speak of. “I’ll tell you before I leave.” I hated the promise as soon as I uttered it. No way did I want to deal with this fallout.

Colton nodded, went to turn, then paused. In a few quick strides, he was back in front of me. He cradled my head in his hands, leaning down to carefully lay his lips on the top of my head.

“For the rest of my life, Hadley, I’ll carry what I did to them. To you. And I won’t give up on trying to help you find the life you should’ve had.”

The promise made me taste metal. It was too noble, too heavy. And far too much like Colton wouldn’t go back to being the deputy chief engaged to a WASPy bitch. Great. The last thing I needed was a would-be hero on my tail.

Especially if the hero in question had an actual tail on occasion.

And had previously murdered my parents.

And was the boy who popped my cherry.

No. I had enough to deal with.

“Whether or not this is the life I should’ve had, it’s the one I’ve got,” I told Colton when he stepped back. “And it’s the only one I want now, Colton. I’m not capable of anything else.” I kept my tone firm, my gaze leveled on him. I would not let him nurture even a kernel of false hope.

His brows furrowed as he tried to process a woman not wanting to be saved, as he tried to comprehend this version of me. Even after everything that had happened, I knew he was still behaving as if I were the old Hadley.

It was comforting for him, maybe. And if I were a kinder person, I’d give him that, since his whole life was in ruins.

But I wasn’t kind. And it would hurt him more to give him hope.