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I opened and closed my mouth as I struggled to process all of that.
“Why do you have a wood-burning kit?” I demanded, going with the first thing I could grasp onto.
“Because I couldn’t bring my workshop to Everdale,” he replied simply. “I should show you my workshop at some point. It’s attached to the garage.”
“Of course it is,” I muttered. “Because what evil genius doesn’t have a lair?”
He laughed, the sound genuine and easy, and it made me smile. For a moment, neither of us said anything. The noise of the reception drifted behind us as Rhodes’ attention settled out over the dark water. His expression was a mix of pensiveness and worry, neither of which I liked to see on him.
Without a word, his hand slipped into his pocket, and he pulled out his tiny brass rocketship. My gaze dropped to the little trinket, watching as he rolled it between his fingers, his thumb tracing across the worn metal. When I finally looked back up at him, he held it out for me to take, and I did. The old brass was dented and scratched in spots I hadn’t noticed before, and it was clear where his fingers landed whenever he held it.
“I didn’t date in high school for obvious reasons,” Rhodes began quietly. “I couldn’t risk my father finding out, so it was just easier not to. And then when I joined the military, I was afraid to come out because I had no idea how the people I was around would react. Sariah was the first person to peg me as gay. The second person was a guy I served with named Lucas.
“He was a little older than me, and he was the first truly out gay man I’d ever met. I’d grown up with all these preconceived notions about what being out would look like, and he shattered every one of them so easily. That wasn’t to say there weren’t assholes—there’s always assholes. When you’re different, some people see that as a permission slip to be an asshole. He brushed them off and stayed centered on the people who mattered. They were important. The rest was just noise. And pretty much everyone loved him. I… loved him,” he admitted, his voice so soft I almost missed it.
Still, the words took me by surprise. After everything he’d said and done—for everything it took for us to get to this point—I’d never once considered that he’d been in love before.
“At least, it was as close to love as I was capable of back then,” Rhodes continued. He sighed heavily. “We never decided we were anything other than what we were. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have let him define it, even if he tried. We were just together when we could be, and the rest of the time, we were friends. It worked for us.”
Silence overtook the conversation. He was a million miles away, staring hard at the water, and I let him. I needed time to process everything anyway.
“He was the first person to truly make me feel comfortable being myself. He was the first person who knew about my love for space, and he encouraged me to go to college. To become an engineer,” he said. “Anyway, when he came back from leave one time, he gave me this. He told me that it’d bring me good luck, and one day, it’d take me to the stars. He had this insane confidence in everything I’d do with my life. I took this everywhere with me. It became a comfort to me.”
He faltered again, and I simply waited.
“I told you that I don’t like Valentine’s Day.”
“You did, but you never told me why,” I replied. However, I wasn’t sure if I was overstepping by saying so. “I don’t expect you to if you don’t want to.”
“My last deployment lined up with Valentine’s Day,” Rhodes explained. My chest constricted with anticipation. Considering his dislike for Valentine’s Day, I had no doubt this story would hurt. He reached over and took back the rocket ship, fussing with it as he continued. “We had a job to do, and Sariah had this gut feeling that something would go wrong. The other guys laughed it off, but I gave her this. I told her it was good luck and that she’d be fine.
“I can’t talk about what happened that day, but all I will say is that it wasn’t good.” He dragged his thumb slowly over one of the little brass wings. “Everyone got hurt—some worse than others. I walked away with a few cuts, bruised ribs… I broke my arm, but it was nothing that really mattered. Sariah was the only one who came out of it without a scratch. It was the damnedest thing.”
He fell silent for a moment.
“Well, physically anyway. None of us were quite the same after that,” he admitted. Something about that distinction made my stomach twist. “Lucas wasn’t as lucky. He made it out, but he died from his injuries later.”
“Rhodes…” I whispered. My hand found his forearm, and I gripped it lightly, doing whatever I could to comfort him.
“I know it’s not rational to think this thing saved her, but it could’ve been so much worse for her. So, the same part of my brain that believed in pre-game superstitions also believes this thing is lucky,” he said. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that… love isn’t easy for me. It never has been. Love has always been conditional. Love has always come with pain. Love… love is just giving people a way to hurt you, even if they don’t realize they have that power.”
I didn’t say anything. Honestly, I wasn’t sure there was anything I could say. His gaze lifted to meet mine.
“Words mean something, Theo,” Rhodes continued. “And so when I say the words, I need you to know that I mean them. I need you to know that I’m choosing you, even though it scares me to give you that kind of power over me. And when I say I love you, I’m not promising I’ll suddenly stop being afraid. I’m promising that despite the fear, I’m not running from this. I’m not running from you because I do love you, Theo, and I’m going to love you with everything I have because that’s the only way I know how.”
I swallowed hard, staring at him. For one heartbeat, that was all I could do as I worked to process every word he’d just said.
Rhodes loved me.
Not one day. Not maybe.
He loved me.
I’d told myself I didn’t need to hear him say it, and I’d meant it. I would’ve waited as long as he needed because loving Rhodes had never been about forcing him to love me back. I would’ve waited forever if that’s how long it took him.
But hearing him say them was something else entirely.
I closed the distance between us before I truly realized what I was doing, taking his face in my hands. My mouth crashed into his as I kissed him with everything I had, pouring a year’s worth of wanting and waiting and hoping into that kiss. His fingers dug into my sides as he pulled my body flush to his.