Page 62 of Game On | AllFreeNovel

Sighing, I forced myself to walk toward him.

“You didn’t have to wait up for me,” I said, trying my best to sound like I wasn’t wallowing in the feelings I couldn’t exactly share with him. That was the worst part of all of this. I couldn’t talk to my best friend about how crappy I felt. I couldn’t tell him why I kept disappearing on him or why his brother lived rent-free in my head. I couldn’t tell him how much I was struggling with this arrangement or how hard I’d fallen for his brother.

I couldn’t talk to anyone.

“I know,” Jude replied. I forced an easy smile, hoping to deter what came next. “You suck at lying.”

“Fuck you,” I muttered. I dropped onto the stairs next to him as he put his phone away.

For a while, neither of us said anything. We never needed to. Comfortable silence was a thing with Jude until one of us inevitably said something stupid that sparked whatever chaos came next in our lives.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, and my chest tightened painfully.

Oh, how I wished I could.

I wanted to tell him everything—to come out and confess that I’d been lying to him for months. Years, really. That I was gay. That I was in a sordid, borderline depressing relationship with his brother.

“I don’t know,” I admitted because I didn’t. I didn’t know what I could say that would make sense without giving all of mine and Rhodes’ secrets away.

Or without making Jude choose between us. For the first time in his life, I knew he and his brother were close—or at least close-ish. I hated the idea of coming between that. It wasn’t fair to either of them.

He ran a hand over his shaved head, rubbing at it as if he missed his longer hair. His expression was unreadable, which wasn’t like him. It immediately put me on edge.

“So,” Jude began slowly as he made a face, “I’m not good with the big speeches and all that. And I know I’ve been a little out of it because of everything with my mom, but I hope you know that I’m here if you need to talk about anything.”

My heart lodged in my throat. Did he know? Or was he just trying to be nice? Sometimes, it was hard to tell with Jude. I wasn’t an idiot. I knew just how smart he was and how much he downplayed it. Half the time, people mistook his easygoing personality for obliviousness. They couldn’t have been more wrong.

“Yeah, I know that,” I said, choosing to keep it simple and see where the conversation went.

“Okay.” He nodded. “You just seem distracted lately. That’s all. And like I said, I know I’ve sucked—”

“You haven’t.”

“Yeah, I have.” He looked exhausted—not physically. It was all emotional. The last year with his mom had taken pieces out of him little by little. And yet, he was still out here in the middle of the night making sure I was okay. The guilt hit hard. “I’m not saying it’s for the wrong reasons. It’s just that I am, but I don’t want you to think you can’t talk to me if something’s wrong.”

“I don’t think that,” I reassured him.

“Well, I just say it because if something’s wrong, I’m here,” Jude repeated. I tried to smile, but I could tell that I wasn’t convincing him. “What’s that thing all the girls keep saying? You’re my person.”