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“I’ve tried to walk away so many times, but then he threatens to kill him or tells me how horrible of a person I am for abandoning him. It makes me feel guilty because his momma is in jail and he never met his father. I’m all he has and I don’t want to be another person who disappoints him.”

“I can’t tell you what to do because, at the end of the day, you won’t leave until you’re ready. What I will say is that you need to tell your family what’s going on. It’s not easy to pack up and walk away from the life you planned for yourself, but your safety is worth it. Let someone know what’s going on and come up with safe exit plan. You may love him, but you owe it to yourself to love you more.”

My heart went out to her because I could tell she was conflicted. There was no judgment in my heart because I still held guilt in my heart for what happened to Rondell and Leora.

“How do you get the strength to leave?” she whispered.

“He killed himself.”

I wish I could have given her some story about how I found the strength to walk away, but the truth was, I got lucky.

“Do you have any regrets?” she asked.

“A lot of them. The biggest one was not telling anyone sooner and trying to handle things on my own. I’m still dealing with the consequences for that decision.” I answered honestly.

We talked a little longer, and I ended up sending her the video, just in case she ever decided to use it. I deleted it from my phone because I never wanted to see it again. Something told me she would probably never use it, but at least I did what I could to help.

After we exchanged numbers, she followed me on IG. Even with dried blood on her face, I could see she was a beautiful girl, but her pictures online were absolutely stunning. It was sad to see someone she loved attempt to dim her light and I prayed one day she found the strength to reclaim it all back.

When the party ended, I went back to the hotel and called Solomon on video chat. The situation triggered me, and I needed someone to vent to. Normally, I would have hidden my feelings and tried to handle things myself, but I was trying to do better. We stayed on the phone while we both showered, ate, and eventually got in bed. He offered to stay on the phone until I fell asleep. It might have been a small gesture to some, but it meant the world to me.

I struggled to fall asleep, so I asked him to sing to me.

“Are you serious right now?”

“Yeah, baby. Your voice is soothing, and I need something to calm my nerves right now.” I batted my lashes, even though I didn’t have to beg much.

“Alright, my spoiled lil’ mama. What do you want me to sing?”

He smirked as he sat with his back against the headboard of his hotel bed.

“Surprise me.”

Solomon smiled with a lazy grin as he retrieved his iPad and turned on some instrumental. I hadn’t heard the song before, but as soon as he began to sing the lyrics, I knew they were about me. My eyes grew heavy as his soothing, deep voice lulled me to sleep. He sang two more songs that I loved before I completely allowed sleep to take over. I heard him whisper that he loved me and that I was safe. He was my safety.

TWENTY-NINE

solomon jackson

“Baby, how much longer are we gonna be in here? My mothafuckin’ stomach is growling,” I complained. We had been in the mall for two hours, and I was ready to go.

“I promise, I just need to grab two more things, and we can go.”

“Yeah, right. You said that twice already. You should know I really love yo’ ass because I don’t do this shit.” I grumbled.

Honesty knew I was a homebody who only came out when I needed to. Outside of her, I had a personal shopper who picked out clothes for me because I didn’t like shopping at all.

“I know, baby. I’m gonna grab the rest of the stuff I need, and then I’ll feed you and suck your dick real good when we get home.” She winked and then walked over to a rack of shoes.

“Yeah, I’ma hold you to it. Yaya sent a message to remind us about movie night at their house, so I need to get my nut before I go to your cock-blocking ass brother’s house.” I joked.

“I got you, daddy.”

While she shopped, I held onto her bags and scrolled through social media. Things had calmed down for us, but I still didn’t spend too much time online. People always had opinions about my life and my relationship, and I found it was best to ignore it all rather than cuss mothafuckas out.

“Yeah, girl. Niggas will get a new bitch, and it’s never an upgrade. How can you make me jealous with a bitch who can’t compare to me on my worst day?” I heard from behind me. When I turned and saw Loren walking with another woman, I frowned.

She was talking loud as hell, so I assumed she wanted me to hear her, but I was confused about what her issue was. Instead of acknowledging her, I turned back around and focused on Honesty.