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“I try to give her grace because I know the shit I was doing in college, but she got me messed up. I know she calls herself dating that little silver-spooned bitch boy, and I still don’t know how I feel about that. He’s been ducking and dodging me since they started dating,” Messiah vented.

“Yeah, I’ve seen him a few times, but the energy is always weird. I can tell he doesn’t want her around me, but I don’t give a fuck. I’ll be here longer than him, and you can bet on that. I don’t know what’s going on with him, but I’m tired of her giving me the runaround. I’ll be at her place tomorrow with my piece tucked and loaded,” I declared.

Honesty thought I was playing when I told her she would be seeing me soon, but I wasn’t joking. Her behavior worried me, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something else was going on. I couldn’t have any peace until I got to the bottom of things.

“If you need me to go with you, I will. Rule and I planned to pop up on her too. She might be grown, but she isn’t too grown where she can’t at least check in and let us know she’s okay. My momma is growing worried, and I can’t have her stressing.”

I nodded, understanding exactly where he was coming from. Something was going on with Honesty, and we needed answers. I planned to get those answers, but I prayed it wasn’t anything too bad. Honesty was my heart, and I would take a charge for her with no questions asked. Hopefully, we were all worried for nothing, but I was prepared for anything.

Dinner was good as hell, but I couldn’t shake Honesty from my mind. I messaged her to let her know I loved her and was thinking about her. It was late, so she probably wouldn't see it until the morning, but I still needed her to know.

As soon as I got home, I rolled up a blunt and called one of the shorties I fucked around with from time to time. I was stressed out and needed someone to take it out on. When she gave me the green light to come over, I hopped in the shower, threw on some clothes, and headed to her crib. A good blunt and a nut were exactly what I needed to calm my mind.

FOUR

honesty graham

“I wasn’t expecting it to be so packed in here,” Tommie exclaimed as we stepped into the Sunset lounge. Once I saw the line outside, I already knew what to expect. My stomach twisted as my nerves went wild. The one time I decided to stop being scared and participate in talent night, it ended up being the busiest night there was.

Tommie convinced me to stop being scared and showcase my skills, but now I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do anymore.

“Aye, I think that’s Masego and his security team over there. Now I understand why the place is packed the way it is. The flyer mentioned a surprise guest, but they never revealed who it was.” Tommie pointed out.

When I glanced where she was looking, I noticed him too. My brother Rule had toured with him a few times, so I recognized his frame before I could see his face. His face was blank as two people talked to him on either side. I assumed they were the lounge staff.

Masego was incredibly handsome, and he was talented too. I wasn’t sure if he was single or not, but he carried himself like a man who knew exactly who he was.

Since we were going in a group, we reserved a section. In this particular lounge, the sections were set up with a U-shaped sectional with a table in the middle. Some might consider it more upscale than the places we normally went on weekends, but I loved switching up the vibe every now and then.

After we took our seats and ordered a round of drinks, I took a moment to observe my surroundings. It felt good to get out of the house and unwind with my girls. Rondell wasn’t feeling the idea of me going out, but he had an away game, which gave me space to breathe.

It blew my mind how a man could treat you poorly, but then want to live in your skin when they thought you were about to leave them. Rondell’s mask slipped long ago, but sometimes I wondered how I missed so many signs at the beginning. Initially, he portrayed himself as a sweetheart, but I couldn’t remember the last time I saw his sweet side unless he was trying to get me to forget some shit he did.

As I glanced around, I noticed all of the men dressed nicely in their polos and button-up shirts, guiding their women into the building. One woman in particular walked in, smiling, holding a bouquet of roses and a birthday sash over her alluring red dress. Her man stood by her, admiration in his eyes, as he held the small of her back.

I had been begging Rondell to take me on a date, but he used his sports schedule as an excuse for why we couldn’t go anywhere. He still found the time to fuck whenever he wanted, but a date night was out of the question. I imagined myself falling deeply in love and being swept off my feet. Every time I went home, I was surrounded by couples madly in love and building a life together. All my siblings had found their person, and although I was happy for them, part of me envied them.

I saw how my brothers loved their wives and how my sisters beamed with pride whenever their men walked into a room, and I wondered if I would ever feel that way.

One thing I did know was that my happy ending wouldn’t be with Rondell. I wouldn’t subject myself to a life of pain, neglect, and disappointment. I just needed to figure out a way to move on without getting hurt or putting anyone else in harm's way. The thought alone made me sad inside because I felt like a failure. My family treated me like the perfect angel and golden child. They expected so much of me, and I knew they would be disappointed if they knew what I had allowed myself to endure.

“Are you okay, pooh? You seem spaced out,” Kyra questioned, with concern.

“I’m fine. I have a lot on my mind, but I’m good,” I lied.

The truth was I had been drowning for a long time, but was too ashamed to tell anyone. My grades were slipping, and I was at risk of academic probation if I couldn’t get my act together.

“Okay, boo. I just want to make sure you’re having a good time. I’m sure you're nervous about performing on stage, but you’re going to be great. I know it,” Kyra reassured me.

When our eyes locked, I stared longer than I meant to. Kyra rarely wore makeup unless it was a special occasion, and even then it was minimal. As I took a moment to observe her, I noticed her makeup seemed to be caked on in a way I hadn’t seen before. She gave me an awkward smile before turning her face away. I wondered what was going on with her, but decided to keep my questions to myself for the moment.

“Alright, everyone. First, we want to thank you for coming to hang with us here at the Sunset Lounge. As you know, tonight is special because we have talented performers coming to share their gifts with us. We also have a few special guests taking the stage, and we know you’re gonna love it.

“Let’s go ahead and get started. We have a talented poet named Verse Three, and he will be kicking us off. Grab your drinks and your hookah, and get ready to have a good time with us tonight.”

The MC announced the first performer, and it took off from there. My girls and I enjoyed ourselves, vibing to the music even though some of the performers probably should have practiced a little more. Tommie couldn’t stop roasting this man who got on stage sounding like a wounded banshee. I refused to laugh with them for fear of karma, but poor stinkabutt should have kept his talents in the bathroom shower.

“Up next, we have a beautiful young lady coming up to perform an original song of hers. This is her first time singing here at Sunset, so let’s show her some love. Let’s give a round of applause for Honey B.” The DJ announced me by the name I provided.