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“Why is that?” I asked, genuinely curious to know what others thought because Lord knows it was an adjustment for me in the beginning.

“I don’t know. I guess because I had never seen her with anyone outside of Uncle Knowledge. When he died, I assumed she would never be with anyone on a serious level. Then when I found out he was younger than her, I assumed they were gonna be fuck-buddies or something. I guess I never thought she would fit with anyone else.”

I understood exactly what she meant because when she first introduced him as her man, I wasn’t feeling it at all. My brothers were cool with him since he had been Rule’s bodyguard for so many years, but I hated it. It took me a few months to realize my issue wasn’t even with him at all. It was about the fact that my mother was moving on with someone who wasn’t my father. For years, they were all I ever knew, and even though their relationship was a bit toxic, they were my parents and what I deemed as the perfect pair.

The idea of my momma being with someone else didn’t sit right with me. I tried to put on a brave face for a while, but when they announced they were engaged, I lost it. My mother had been a Graham longer than all of us. It was OUR name, and the idea of her carrying someone else’s last name made me feel some type of way.

One thing I can say is that Moe never tried to force himself on us. He made his intentions for my momma clear, and he treated us with respect without pushing his way into our lives. I realized over time that him being with my mother didn’t mean that he was stepping on my father’s toes, and while I wasn’t thrilled about my mother no longer carrying the Graham family name, she would always be a Graham.

Moe never tried to overstep or play the role of a father, but he definitely came through for us whenever we needed it. There were plenty of times I found myself sloppy drunk with my friends, and he would come out in the middle of the night, pick us all up, and drop my friends off. He never judged me or tried to lecture me, but he always gave me words of wisdom.

“I believe he does have a couple of brothers, but I’ve only met one. He was cute, but he wasn’t on Moe’s level.” I told them.

“I need to find an older man. I tried to date the men my age, but they play too many games.” Triniti expressed.

“Are you finally ready to get back into the dating world? I thought you were still on your ‘I hate all men’ tour.” River called her out.

Triniti was a party girl, and she barely gave men more than three seconds of her attention before she was on to the next.

She and her boyfriend broke up two years ago after she found out he had cheated on her with another woman. Well, actually, it was much deeper because he was basically living a double life as he created a life with both of them. He proposed to Triniti and had her thinking they were about to start their lives together, but she came face to face with reality when the other woman reached out to her to let her know she was pregnant and to stay away from her man.

“I don’t know. It's something I’ve been thinking about a lot. I invested so much time in a man who didn’t share my goals, morals, or integrity. A part of me wants to get back out there, but the men I’ve been meeting lately have left much to be desired.” A deep frown covered her pretty face, making me laugh.

“I’m with you there. I haven’t dated anyone since college, but sometimes I think it’s for the best. You know I told y’all I signed up for that dating site a few weeks ago, right? Why did I match with this Lawyer from Liberty Heights? I won’t lie, the man was good-looking and educated, so it made me hopeful for a moment.

“The conversation was kind of dry, but I chalked it up to him being busy with his caseload. When he finally asked me on a date, I was excited because I figured maybe he was one of those men who were dry over the phone but had good conversation in person. Wrong! We didn’t even make it to dinner because when I offered to meet him at the restaurant, he caught an attitude. I guess he was offended because I wanted to drive myself.

I tried to let it slide, but then he made things worse when he changed the restaurant. We were supposed to go to the new steakhouse in Ontario, but he said he wasn’t comfortable going to a restaurant without prices on the menu unless he knew he was going to get some pussy out of the deal. I blocked him so fast, I almost broke a nail. He tried to reach out to me via email, and I blocked him there as well.”

I got angry all over again thinking about how he tried to play with me. Everyone kept telling me the dating pool was filled with piss and feces, but I wanted to believe there was hope out there. Sadly, I ended up disappointed because I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

“Girl, these men are overly-freaked out. I met someone at the gym a month ago, and we were talking for a couple of weeks. Triniti and I went to this event in Ross Grove, so I invited him to come with us. It was a cute little lounge or whatever, and the vibes were chill. He seemed cool in the beginning. We all ordered drinks, appetizers, and a couple rounds of shots.

The DJ was on point, so Trin and I danced most of the night until our feet hurt. Mind you, the section was free for us, and we got a free round of shots too. Everything seemed to be going smoothly until the waitress came with the bill at the end of the night. You would have thought someone poured water on him from the way he reacted.

Hell, based on his face, I thought it was some outrageous bill, but it was only $78, and it included all our stuff. He started venting and saying he didn’t think he should have to pay for anything Trin got because he was only there for me. I didn’t like the way he was trying to act like it was such a big deal, so I pulled out my card, paid the tab and Trin, and I left him right there in the section.

I don’t know what he was thinking, but I never played about my sister, and we’re too paid and fine to deal with some dusty, broke-ass nigga. I blocked him before we made it to the car and left with four numbers by the time we made it out of the parking lot.”

River rolled her eyes as she recalled the memories.

“Did you ever see him at the gym again?” I asked, fully invested in the story. My cousins were my best friends, and they always had the wildest dating stories.

“Yeah, I saw him and acted as if he wasn’t in the room. He tried to talk to me, but I wasn’t in the mood for him or his bullshit. There was no excuse he could give to make me ever give him another second of my attention.”

“She used to talk about him every time she went to the gym, but my sis does not play. She treated him like he was invisible, and I know his ass is hurt.” Trin added.

“I’ll never understand men and their mindset. They want sex on the first date, but if you order a steak and a lobster, they are ready to call the police on you. Sometimes I wonder if we’re the problem because our fathers and brothers spoiled us, but then I realize what we expect from them is the bare minimum if you really think about it.”

“I want a man who provides without asking and treats me well. If you can’t even respect my mind and body in the beginning stages, there’s no point in wasting any more time.” I vented.

My brothers and cousins ruined dating for us because they set the blueprint for how a man should court you. A perfect relationship didn’t exist, but they were damn sure close. Messiah and Rule loved their wives, and I never witnessed them yell or disrespect them. They were faithful as far as I was aware, and they took care of their families.

Of course, they argued and fought like normal couples, but it never changed the way they loved. There were plenty of times Yaya would come to the house, venting to my mother and me about Messiah, but she never talked down on him. He could be a wild card without a filter, but he loved her more than anything. She had attempted to spend the night with us during one of their fights, but Messiah wasn’t having it. He came and picked her up, tossed her over his shoulders, and placed her in the car. She never put up a fight either because she wanted to be there with him.

My father, Uncle Truth, and Uncle Prosper might have made some mistakes in life, but they raised some incredible men. It was the reason I refused to settle for less than I deserved. If someone couldn’t give me what I needed and wanted, they weren’t going to be in my world.

“I’m over it all. At this stage, I’m not even trying to date for money. Let me find a rich nigga with a big dick and heavy pockets, and I’ll be good to go. At the end of the day, these bills need to get paid, and I need to get laid. Anything else outside of those things is extra.” River interjected.